When most of us think of abuse the first thing we think of is usually physical violence, not emotional abuse. However, intimate partner abuse comes in MANY forms and emotional abuse is by far more likely to occur than physical abuse. Not to mention that emotional abuse is often not taken seriously because the abuser doesn't behave abnormally outside of intimate partner relationships.
Earlier this month, Zahira Kelly, an artist and writer used Twitter to publicly share her experience of emotional abuse and she used the hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou. This hashtag is now being used to garner more awareness and support for victims of emotional abuse via Twitter.
Many people don’t know that they have been, or are currently being, emotionally abused. If you suspect and are unsure if you're being emotionally abused, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence breaks down what emotional abuse is, how to spot it and provides some interesting stats on emotional abuse in their facts sheet: Facts about Domestic Violence and Psychological Abuse.
Emotional violence within intimate partner relationships is a pervasive public health issue and so is the toll taken on those who are abused. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
- It is important to note that domestic violence does not always manifest as physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse can often be just as extreme as physical violence. Lack of physical violence does not mean the abuser is any less dangerous to the victim, nor does it mean the victim is any less trapped by the abuse.
Regarding her Twitter post, Zahira Kelly said,
“The initial tweets were about me and people close to me. Abuse culture is something most women experience, and at higher rates for women of color like me. But we get very little support for it and are rarely equipped to suss it out.”
The tweet and its hashtag struck a major nerve, and it has since sparked a far-reaching discussion on Twitter — hundreds of women have used the hashtag to share their own experiences and educate one another about the many ways abuse can manifest.
Here are some of the most powerful #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou tweets:
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but every time he hurts you, he manages to turn it around and make it your fault for "overreacting".— Kyla Padbury (@KylaPadbury) March 16, 2017
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he constantly makes you feel undeserving of his time and affection— Kyla Padbury (@KylaPadbury) March 29, 2017
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he makes sure you believe that you're too broken/damaged to ever be wanted by anyone else— Just Juanita (@Just_Juanita) May 9, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but after lying, cheating, and treating you terribly, he still acts like you're the selfish one for walking away.— Kyla Padbury (@KylaPadbury) March 29, 2017
#maybehedoesnthityou but he hurts you in other ways and pretends it never happened— MEL (@melc97) March 30, 2017
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but you always have to decide if it's worth it to call him out on disrespecting you. He just makes it about him.— Julia (@maybeineedthis) March 21, 2017
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but instead he isolates you and destroys all of you platonic relationships so he's all you have— marty (@lifeaschicanx) May 4, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he threatens your financial security, undermines your authority & constantly tells you you are nothing without him.— Nengi Willie-Pepple (@RunwayRibbons) May 2, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou, but he tells you what friends you're "allowed" to have.— Saracastaholic (@HeartTruly) May 10, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he will call you no less than 40 times when you choose not to answer the phone to avoid a lecture or argument.— Manduhhh (@SinkingRapture) May 10, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he screams at you even if you did nothing wrong.— Bekksxo (@rebekahlynnb) May 10, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he makes you believe that you're too broken/ugly/useless to be wanted by anyone else besides him— taylør🥀 (@tbalc_) May 10, 2016
#maybehedoesnthityou but he criticised you everyday, he compared you to "better" women & told you you will never be/look good enough.— becca (@BeccaJollyy) May 10, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he purposefully fails to communicate & resolve issues that are hurting you because he enjoys having power over you— morgs (@surfmorg) May 10, 2016
#maybehedoesnthityou but he constantly cheats on you and blames you for it. He says you pushed him to cheat on you— Queen Elizabitch (@PortiaAfrika) March 8, 2017
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