'Soaking' Is The Sex Act Blowing Up On TikTok — But What Is It?
If you're not on TikTok, then you're probably unaware of the questionable sex act making the rounds. We're talking about soaking or, as it's also called, jump-humping. Simply put, soaking is when someone puts their penis into a vagina and either leaves it there without thrusting, or a third person jumps on the bed to provide a modicum of thrust action. Interestingly, this act is more about the journey, than the destination, because orgasms are off-limits.
As much as it might seem like a myth or a rumor that got out of hand, we have the Mormons to thank for this gem. According to former Mormon and TikToker Exmolex, "Young Mormons are very sexually repressed... they're not allowed to touch themselves... look at anything sexual... not allowed to even hug or kiss anybody for an extended period of time. But sometimes it gets to a point where they just can't help themselves. So soaking is a thing that happens." As she further explained, because there's no thrusting, it's not sex, so the act "doesn't count," therefore allowing people to remain chaste until marriage as the religion demands.
As another former Mormon, Carah Burrell, told The New York Post, "'Soaking' makes its rounds every now and then and people are shocked and fall over in laughter," adding that she's never actually known anyone who's done it. "It's always a friend of a friend," she said. But whether it's just a handful or thousands, soaking isn't without its issues.
Why it's problematic
Once we clear up the fact that virginity is a social construct, contrary to what some religions say, there is still the issue of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Because sex ed probably didn't teach you enough, there are a few important things to consider before soaking or jump-humping without a condom.
For starters, you can absolutely contract an STI even if the person with the penis doesn't ejaculate. Most STIs only need skin-to-skin contact to be spread. "Syphilis, HPV, and herpes are definitely transmitted from skin-skin contact (technically, direct contact with the fluid in a herpetic lesion or warts with HPV)," clinical sexologist and certified sexuality educator Lawrence A. Siegel told Bustle. "These three STIs are able to pass through intact skin."
Secondly, there's a little something called pre-ejaculation that occurs when a person with a penis is aroused. It's a secretion that can't be controlled, and can't often even be felt. While this fluid is produced in the accessory sex glands, meaning not the same place where semen is made, it doesn't mean that this fluid is 100% sperm-free. According to a 2016 study published in the Journal of the Medical Association of Thailand, "actively mobile sperm" was found in 16.7% of the pre-ejaculatory samples. In other words, an unwanted pregnancy is still very possible with soaking and jump-humping.
Why it's controversial
There's a lot of controversy surrounding soaking, especially when framed religiously. But whether participants are Mormon or not, it still perpetuates a supposed loophole for women to say "intact." The Church of Latter-day Saints is certainly not alone in being adamantly against pre-marital sex of any kind. Still, like the other religions, it's complicit in selling an idea of what a woman should be. It's the type of thinking that placates the patriarchy in a way that allows men to sexually enjoy themselves with women who will ultimately end up carrying the burden of the act with them forever.
"The primary concerns are that participating in it could make a person — especially girls — unworthy of participating in temple rituals," former Mormon and science fiction author V.G. Anderson told The New York Post. "Even more troubling is that 'forgiveness' for having participated in 'soaking' or 'jump-humping' will likely come easier to the young men than the young women who will still be viewed as 'unclean,' making them less worthy of marriage."
If you're soaking to somehow maintain your purity, then just get to thrusting. As far as the church and the patriarchy are concerned, once that penis is inside you, condom or not (although you should use a condom), you're no longer chaste. With that in mind, lean into your sexual urges and aim for an orgasm, because it's not your virginal status that concerns the menfolk, it's your ability to experience and harness your own pleasure.