Italy Rules That Public Masturbation Is Not A Crime

portlandia
IFC

Be careful, that might not be alfredo sauce.

Italy's highest court ruled that masturbation in public is no longer a crime, as long as it is not performed in the presence of minors.

The ruling came from the highest court of Italy, after the case of a 69 year-old-man who was caught masturbating in Catalina was overturned.

The man was caught performing the act in front of students on the University campus, according to CNN. At. A. University. Campus.

The man was originally sentenced to three months in prison and fined €3,200 (around $3,600), but the defendant's lawyer appealed the case to the Supreme Court and justified it as part of a former law passed last year that decriminalized the act.

The court adjourned and the judge overturned a jail term. The masturbation man was set free.

The new change to the criminal code does call for imprisonment if the act is witnessed by a minor, but only up to four and a half years. So Italian men can play with their sausages, as long as they aren't in the presence of children.

What the Italian court fails to recognize are the young women who face seeing public masturbation in their daily lives, the lurking masturbater on subway corners or the gross guy watching you as you walk through the streets. That's not a safe or comfortable environment for any of us.

But then again, Italy also ruled that parents can't make their children eat vegan. So are we surprised?