Everybody talks about how breaking up is hard to do, but ditching a friendship is so much harder— no matter how toxic that friendship is.
No matter how bad things have gotten, a lot of the time we just can't get rid of friendships that aren't working for us, so we spend way too much time resenting the money and time we spend on people we don't even really get along with anymore.
Here's why it's so difficult to break up with a friend:
1. You've Normally Known Them Way Longer Than A Partner
The average relationship lasts less than three years, but I've had friends who have been around for decades. They get imbedded in your life— and it can be really hard to let go of all that shared history.
2. They're Impossible To Avoid
Sure, having a total detox of an ex can be difficult. But chances are, when trying to break up with a friend, you'll run into them everywhere you don't want to. Sarah's birthday? Yup. That hen do? Absolutely. How can you move on when you can't escape?
3. You're Used To Messaging Them Every Six Seconds
You and your boyfriend probably texted a lot. But your friends text about everything— including the fact that you just ate an entire Dominos alone in on a Saturday in your pajamas. And you probably have a work email chain going with them. Dammit, they're everywhere.
4. You Have Way More Of Their Stuff
Having a boy's sweatshirt is nice, but about half of your wardrobe is her stuff. How can you even tell it apart at this point?
5. And She Has Way More Of Yours
She probably borrowed your favorite pair of jeans without even asking. You can't let a friendship like that go before you get them back.
6. Group. Chats.
You're probably in 10 thousand group chats. The friendship can't die as long as the group chats live.
7. Nobody Will Get Your Inside Jokes
You have your own individual language. Letting that go is just too much to bear.
8. People Will Think You're Being Way Harsh
Nobody thinks it's weird when you dump a boyfriend. But cutting out a friend for good? People think that's really cold.
9. You Need That Party Buddy
Maybe they go to every awkward party you need to be at even though you hate everyone there. Maybe they just on the other end of the phone when you need to text so you look busy and important. Either way, they're vital.
10. ... And That Drinking Buddy
11. There's No Conversation For This
Everybody knows how a breakup talk goes, but how do you even breakup with a friend? There's no handbook.
12. They Won't Always Get The Message
You can try to phase them out, but because friendship breakups are rare there's a good chance it won't work. They just won't understand what's happening— and will keep crawling back for more.
13. You'll Just Miss Them
Friends hold a special place in your life. Even when things have gone sour, you'll still miss the good days like hell. It's really hard to cut that cord.
Breaking up is hard to do. But breaking up a friendship is way harder— and more confusing. Stay strong, because sometimes it's the right thing.
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