Why is leaving voicemails the worst thing ever? I mean, it really shouldn’t be. For years we left them all the damn time. I mean, I remember fighting with my family to be able to be the one that had the phone line all to myself. And then once I get a cell phone, there were the huge phone bills I racked up and my parent’s wrath.
And yet, flash forward a few years, and most of my friends would rather gouge their eyes out than make a phone call. It’s like the worst thing that we can imagine being asked to do. And someone leaving a voicemail is basically a crime.
Because despite using our phones every second of the day, we’ve become really averse to actually talking on them. We’ll text, we’ll email, we’ll scroll through every app and news story under the sun— but we don’t want to put that phone to our ear and actually talk to another person. We can get our food delivered, book taxis, and get groceries without interaction with anyone, so why the hell are people still leaving voicemails?
It’s so annoying and it’s time to lay voicemails to rest— and here’s why they’re the actual worst.
1. Everybody's Voice Sounds Awful
Sorry, it just does.
2. You Think There's An Emergency
Who calls? Unless someone is dead, you just send a text.
3. You Actually Have To Put Your Phone To Your Ear
... and nobody does that anymore.
4. Everybody Sounds Like An Idiot
We hardly ever leave them anymore, so everyone rambles and sounds bizarre.
5. The BUILD UP
The dread that settles when you have a voicemail you know you should listen to is the worst. You know you should, but instead you just let it fester.
6. It's Harder To Pretend You Missed Them
What, that three minute thing you left on my phone? No, didn't hear it... I swear.
7. Often There's A Big Let Down
You finally work up the nerve to listen to it... and then it's a cold call. So lame.
8. You Have To Call Back
You can't just text in reply to a voicemail, can you? I mean you want to, but it seems super weird.
9. Half The Time You Can't Hear Them
"And the really important thing I wanted to tell you is... STATICSTATICSTATICSTATIC."
10. You Accidentally Delete Them
And then you have to call back. CALL BACK.
11. It Might Lead To Actually Talking On The Phone
Like for a real conversation. With your voices.
12. Sometimes They Trick You
It's so vague that you think you really need to call back... and then it's just some random dude trying to sell you towels.
13. TEXTING EXISTS
Texting, iMessage, Whatsapp— the future is here, people. Let's get on board with it, OK?
The only people who should be allowed to leave voicemails are grandparents because, well, then it’s ridiculously adorable. But for everyone else, let’s call it quits. We have a million other ways that we can contact each each other that don’t make a knot in the pit of our stomach, so why should we keep on suffering through voicemails? Do your friends a favor and, next time you want to give them a call, just send a text instead. It’s not a damn emergency.
Have a friend who just can’t stop calling and leaving those weird and annoying voicemails? SHARE this with them!