13 Hilariously Savage Responses To The "Why Are You Single?" Question

audrey hepburn
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Living that single life and loving every second.

It doesn't matter how much society seems to have changed— you can always count on the demonization and patronization of single women. Don't worry, because nearly everyone has been asked this age old question. But you don't need to take it lying down.

1. "My Bank Account And I Like It That Way."

Living your best life.

2. "Having Hot Sex All The Time Is Awful, Isn't It?"

Why do so many people ignore how amazing it is to be single?

3. "I Just Have This Weird Thing Where I Feel Totally Sufficient. Strange, Right?"

That should shut them up in a hurry.

4. "Because Not Everyone Wants To Settle."

And why the hell should you? Everybody's thinking it.

5. "Because It's 2017."

They really shouldn't even be asking the question.

6. "Women Are Allowed To Do That Now, Haven't You Heard?"

Fair point.

7. "I Have Met Anyone I Love As Much As I Love Pizza."

This was a genuine dilemma I had... for a long time.

8. "Why Aren't You?"

Straight to the point. And probably honest.

9. "If You Met My Vibrator, You Wouldn't Be Asking."

Grey's Anatomy via ABC

You're all I need to get by. You're all I need to get by. You're alllll I neeeed to get byyyyyyy.

10. "I'm Not Ready To Give Up That Onesie Life."

PREACH.

11. "Why, Do You Miss It?"

They probably are. They really probably are.

12. "I'd Actually Like To Figure Myself Out First, Thanks."

So many people don't do this. Normally the same kind of people who ask these questions.

13. "Because I Want To Be."

The end. Roll credits. That really should be all they need to hear.


Being single can be absolutely amazing, so don't feel badly about showing how much you enjoy it. There's no reason for being embarrassed just for being independent— and loving it.

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