14 Absurd Thoughts Every Single One Of Us Has Had At The Gym
Getting fit isn't the only thing women think about at the gym.
With summer upon us, lots of us women are heading to the gym to work on our fitness … and to look smoking hot on the beach. The gym is a melting pot of characters, from the uber fit to the uncoordinated newbies, and the uber creep to the subtle stud.
Whether you enjoy the gym or not, it is unquestionably a place that encourages a hilarious inner dialogue. While we're peddling/running/ squatting away, our minds tend to wander and a myriad of thoughts cross our minds.
We're sure that you've probably thought of a few of these things in this list:
1. Didn't I go on a Tinder date with that guy?
The gym welcomes all sorts of people. So, one of the downfalls of the gym is that you're very likely to run into someone you know. If you're using dating apps, there is a good possibility that the Tinder guy you've been chatting up will be over in the free weights area … and you don't want him to see you like this.
2. I deserve a burger after this.
All this exercise makes a girl hungry. While you're on the treadmill it is likely you're already day dreaming about all that you're going to eat the second you get out of here. It doesn't help that every single commercial is advertising fast food.
3. Is my butt crack hanging out?
You do a lot of bending over at the gym, and sometimes your pants will slide down. You see a lot of plumber's crack at Planet Fitness, and you don't want to fall victim to that.
4. Is that guy staring at me? Gross!
There are a lot of strange heavy-breathing guys who leer at you at the gym. Nothing is more uncomfortable than falling victim to their creepy gaze.
5. Why am I sweating more than every other woman here?
Sure, everyone sweats. Well, unless you have anhidrosis. But there are some women who leave the gym with some light sweat spots on the back of their shirt, and then there are girls who leave the gym like they were just caught in a torrential downpour. I fall in the latter camp.
6. Is that guy staring at me?
For the most part, the male attention you get at the gym is unwanted. But, rarely there is that one guy who gives you a look and you're totally into it. But then you totally ruin it by making a weird attempt at a smile.
7. Why is that girl even here? She's already won the gym... and life.
Damn you, beautiful fit girl. Why are you up in here trying to make the rest of us look bad?
8. Revenge bod! Revenge bod!
Sure, we should all be working out for our own self-improvement. But, maybe, just maybe, a small motivating factor in your fitness goals is to get back at all the men who have ever wronged you.
9. Ugh. WTF is that smell?
When you are stuck in an enclosed space with hundreds of sweaty bodies, there will be some unpleasant odors that sneak up your nose.
10. If I were Ellen, who would I bring on the show?
If you're working out during the day, chances are the TVs will be tuned into daytime talk shows. Then you fantasize about what your own talk show would be like and who you would invite on the show. Hmm … Michelle Obama, Gordon Ramsay … and Jesus.
11. What is she doing over there? Am I doing it wrong?
When you're at the gym, you try to pick up pointers from people who seem like they know what they're doing. Because you don't. No, not a single clue as to what I'm doing.
12. Eh, 20 less sit ups won't matter in the grand scheme of things.
Even though you try your hardest to complete each set, your brain tries to self-sabotage you into leaving early. Cause all that brain wants to do is get home and curl into bed with a burrito
13. How clean is this equipment really?
There are signs everywhere that say "wipe down equipment after use." But, how many people actually follow that rule? You know you've gotten off a piece of equipment and it looked relatively dry, so you just quickly walked away hoping that nobody saw you.
14. What do we have here? Is that the tiniest hint of an ab?!
We've all been there. We go the gym one time and when we go home we're already doing Mr. Olympia poses in the mirror. Yeah, we've made some real progress today.
So, you've definitely thought about some of these things while at the gym, right? And if you haven't, they'll certainly be on your mind now.
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