The Special Bond Between Mothers and Sons
Annie Reneau, mother of 3, describes what many mothers can relate to - A unique feeling that having a son can bring.
We had two brilliant girls and I was satisfied with what life brought me. So far. I loved my girls. I understood girls. Girls were my jam. When we discovered our baby number 3 was a boy, I didn't know what think. I knew how to raise daughters, but a son? I feared that I wouldn't understand him. Worse, I worried that I wasn’t going to love him as much as I loved my girls.
I couldn't get it when people said "there is nothing like the bond between mother and son." Moms of boys kept telling me that there was nothing like the bond between mother and son. They kept saying it, but I couldn’t picture it. I figured they were just “boy moms,” who always wanted boys, got boys, and loved boys. I didn’t want to tell them that I didn’t really want a boy, didn’t get boys, and was honestly afraid that I couldn’t love a boy. Then our son was born. And in the past seven years, I’ve experienced exactly what those moms were talking about.
As much as I bonded with girls and as close as I am to them, there’s just something about a boy and his mama that’s qualitatively different. It’s hard to explain exactly how the relationship is different — it’s just different.
One of the things I worried about was the rambunctiousness I’d observed in a large percentage of kids with a Y chromosome.
Our first daughter was super mellow, and while our second daughter had quite a wild streak, neither of our girls held a candle to their boy cousins in the rough-and-tumble department. And sure enough, our boy did come with an extra dose of physical energy. He is, as some would say, “all boy.”
But coupled with that energy came an unbelievable sweetness in the way he shows his love for me. When my son snuggles, his whole body melts into me. When he was a preschooler, he would grab me by the cheeks and plant a dozen kisses on my face, saying, “Mommy, I just love you soooo much!” When he says something, it is with his whole and bold heart. He’s told me on more than one occasion that he wants to marry me. He loves me with a fierceness and intensity that is just different from the love from my girls.
Yes, I am scared of the teenage years. I fear not having all the answers. But that's how he makes me a better person. I learn so much with him. It doesn't make the relationship I have with my girls less important to me. We have so much in common and I can put myself on their shoes more easily. It's like getting to know my own self better. But having a boy is exploring a new territory. It's really enriching. However, this little boy a place in my heart that I didn’t even know was there. Boys turn you into a new person. They make you look at life from another outlook.
Now, being a mother of both girls and boys, I can completely relate to the special link moms have with their sons. I am glad to hear from my friend moms that, even when boys get bigger, they carry their adorable ways to show love. It doesn't go away in time. I’m counting on it, as it would break my heart to think otherwise. I boy will tell you more honestly what he thinks. You'll hear "I don't like your dress". While my girls would probably try to figure out other words to protect my feelings. So when they tell you their sweetest words, you'll know they mean it. My sweet boy will someday become a sweet man. He’ll have many other loves come into his life, and I will happily step aside when they do. Because even though he’ll eventually give his heart to another woman, I know there’s a dedicated place in it for me. Our connection is unique and cannot be replaced.
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