13 Easy Steps To Love Somebody With Anxiety
A person with anxiety frequently assume everyone is going to leave. Doing so, they are prone to be the first ones to ruin a relationship. They battle something they can't control. The sense of insecurity within themselves is a barrier when it comes to relationships. They know it's complicated and they don't want to burden you with their irrational thoughts and worries. So before you get the chance to leave yourself, they push you away.
2- Remember They’re Worth Fighting For.
It can be hard sometimes. Non-existing scenarios they've created in their own head can be a sparkle for fights. But more than anything, they're worth fighting for. Tough people usually are the ones worth fighting for. And if you can crusade with them through this battle, it'll be really rewarding.
3- Reassure Things Are OK
The phrase, ‘It's okay,' is of unlimited usage. These two words are key. Magical words that stop every thought occupying their minds. Seriously, you can never say it enough.
4- Sometimes You Just Have To Listen.
They're going to fantasize these situations in their heads. They're going to jump from one subject to another and sometimes you're not going to know how they got there. The best thing you can do is giving them time, allowing them to relocate to the present moment. If there's no way to solve the issue or it's related to their worry about the future, listening will be the best help.
5- Don’t Tell Them, ‘You’re Overreacting.’
To you, it might seem nonsensical. But to them whatever they open up to you about, it's something that actually keeps them up at night. So just take it as best you can.
6- Don't Force Your Sleep Schedule On Them
They probably won't sleep through the night. Whether it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep, you'll be woken up by them at 3 am as they lay there wide awake. Just hold them close and the comfort in your presence might be enough to get them back to sleep.
7- Be Clear When They Get Defensive
Remember it's not that they don't trust you. They're scared. You say it's an ex and in their mind, they jump to cheating. You say it's a friend and in their mind, it's someone trying to break you two up. It's not you and your relationship that isn't trusted, it's every worse case scenario automatically playing out in their head and they hate themselves for it.
8- Give Prompt Answers, Silence Is a Nightmare
Answering texts timely does help more than you know. You've probably noticed they answer embarrassingly fast and they know not everyone is like them but it helps when people understand it. It helps when you say ‘I can't talk now this is why I'll text you later.' Silence kills anyone with anxiety. It creates problems in their mind that aren't even there. It ends in apologies that aren't even needed. And it adds a layer of stress to their life they wish they could control.
9- If Texts Seem Overwhelming, Just Keep Calm
Don't be mad if they send a double text. You might turn your phone on, to four texts. If you can remember it's not that they're trying to be annoying. They care. They care too much and they know it makes them look bad.
10- Be Ok With Their Not-That-Social Habits
They are trying to let you in even though they tend to avoid half of the city. Appreciate that. Sometimes they just won't be up for going out. They might cancel last minute or freeze in the middle of a night out and just not be able to do it. If they tell you they have to leave don't feel a sense of guilt or obligation to go with them. Just know they tried and for whatever reason, they couldn't handle it. What sets people with anxiety off can be many things but for a lot of people, parties in which they don't know someone ends in two ways, they'll either be quiet and awkward or you'll be carrying them out as they chose vodka to ease their worries.
11- Accept When They Apologize
Accept their apologies even if you don't understand. Whether it's a night out gone wrong, a triple text, saying or doing the wrong thing, they are so observant. They will pick up on the slightest shift in you and before you even realize you might be upset and they will apologize for it.
12- Don't Try To Fix Everything For Them
Help when you can but know when you can't. They would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more than they can chew and they will never admit they can't handle something. They'll always say yes. They'll never turn anyone away. And in those moments where it seems like they are going to fall apart and break just hold them. Help them if you can but know they're inclined to not ask for help. They're used to dealing with things on their own.
13- If You're Brave Enough, You'll Receive A Great Reward
Once trust is gained they'll love you more intensely than anyone would. While not being top planners and executers, having unfinished lists, messed up texts and overwhelming creativity... There is one thing they are freaking good at - Love. They're strong in their ability to show you how much they adore and appreciate you. It doesn't matter if it takes them a while to trust you. Because once they do, their ability to love you unconditionally will fill you in every way. Even when you didn't know there was emptiness or something missing.
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