Feeling a little down in the dumps about yourself? The trick to being more confident is easier than you think. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.
Behold these tips and tricks confident women use to overcome self-doubt:
1. Focus On Yourself Instead of Comparing
At the end of the day, comparing yourself to others is a no-win situation.
First of all, you don’t have nearly enough facts about almost anyone’s life to be able to judge whether or not they’re actually doing as well as you think, or are simply awesome at putting up a successful veneer.
The odds also are that when you compare yourself to someone else, you don’t tend to take into account the differences in how long they’ve been working to achieve a certain goal compared to how long you have.
The only person it’s really fair to compare yourself to is a former version of yourself.
2. Identify the Source of Your Negative Beliefs
So you think you can’t do it or aren’t good enough? Why is that exactly?
Rather than just accept an outlook as true simply because you’d held it for a long time, ask when and where you formed that opinion.
You may discover that some of your opinions about yourself are long outdated beliefs that stem from as far back as childhood.
Realizing this can be the beginning of a long process of replacing old ideas with new ones. Instead of asking “but what if…” start asking “why not?”
3. Focus On Your Successes Rather Than Your Failures
For whatever reason, many of us seem to have made an art form out of ignoring all the compliments we get, in favor of that one stray critical remark.
This is a habit that can be a tough one to break, but forcing yourself to turn things around can be life changing.
The next time you’re feeling down about yourself, sit down and write out a list of all the things you’ve achieved, sweet compliments that people have offered you, and even qualities that you consider to be your best assets.
Keep this list around or even turn it into a journal so that you can constantly keep it updated.
4. Stay Away From Haters
If you’re allowing someone else to interfere with your positive self-view then the odds are that you’ve given them way too much power.
The next time you feel like someone is judging you, try to picture your entire life as a graph, from the moment you were born right up until now.
Think of all the millions of experiences, thoughts, and feelings that you’ve been through. Then try and come up with a percentage of exactly how many of them the other person is aware of.
If it’s someone you don’t know well, then the odds of that percentage being even 1 are extremely low.
When you look at it from that perspective, the idea that anyone has the right to judge you is actually pretty ridiculous.
5. Ditch the Excuses
Worried about what will happen if you fail? First of all the same thing that will happen if you never try. Unless you at least give something a shot, then the answer is already no.
Beyond that, the only thing you’ve got to worry about is your instance that failure is a bad thing.
The truth is that success doesn’t usually come to people who never make mistakes. It comes to people who make plenty of them but don’t allow that to keep them from trying again.
6. Consciously Cultivate Self-Love and Acceptance
Learning to love and accept yourself is a process that comes easier to some people than others.
The important thing to remember, however, is that it’s an active journey and that as long as you stay on the right path you’ll make progress.
Try things like journaling, even if it’s just writing out three pages of whatever happens to be in your head every day, as quickly as you can. You’ll be stunned how many of your own problems you begin to identify and solve.
Also, try things like guided meditations that can help you turn off your inner critic and tap into a voice of self-affirmation.
7. Realize It’s Okay To Be Nervous
Though it may sound a little like a Pinterest pin, the truth is that if your dreams don’t scare the hell out of you then they’re either not big enough or you’re not going for them.
When you’re working to achieve something you love, of course, it will be scary, that’s how you know that it means a lot to you!
Realize that fear isn’t necessarily a bad thing as long as you work through it rather than let it hold you back from going after your goals.
After all, the scariest thought of all is looking back when you’re old and having to wonder what you could’ve done with your life if only you’d found the courage to try.
8. Break Your Goals Down
When you really want to achieve something, the temptation can be to believe that you have to go from 0 to 60 right this instant.
In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. This type of "all or nothing" thinking can actually keep you from acting, due to the fear of having to do everything right this moment.
Instead, break your goals down into a series of incredibly specific actions that you can work on a little each day if need be.
For instance, rather than thinking you have to write that entire novel tonight, how about committing to writing at least one or two pages a day. Or even just outlining it?
9. Allow Your Mind To Follow Your Actions
Let’s face it, no matter how much you love yourself or how big of an awesome streak you’re on, you’re gonna have bad days- we all do.
Sometimes the key is in just doing the things you know you’re supposed to or need to do anyway, even if you’re not 100% into it.
Rather than falling prey to letting your emotions control your actions, just show up and act and you’ll find that your emotions will eventually have a way of following suit.
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