27 Adam DeVine Quotes That’ll Make You Do a Spit Take

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Pitch Perfect via Universal Pictures

You won't be able to keep your cool even if you try.

These Adam DeVine Quotes Are Just Too Funny

Adam DeVine is one of our favorite comedians for a reason. His quotes and sayings are downright hilarious - there's never a dull moment when DeVine is in the room. Not to mention, his acting roles in Pitch Perfect and Workaholics have a special place in our hearts.

We have DeVine to thank for these comical quotes. Whether he's in character or just speaking from his own heart, he sure knows just how to make us laugh. He even knows how to make jokes about some of the most painful parts of his past, reminding us how much a smile can heal.

You'll definitely want to check out these amusing quotes from DeVine for yourself. There's a little bit of everything in the mix, and we guarantee you won't be able to stop reading. Try not to fall out of your chair!

Our Favorite Quotes By Adam DeVine

  • "The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last."

  • "I'm just a lat guy, you know? I've got these amazing lats, and I'm just living in an ab guy's world."

  • "I'm not a good rapper. For whatever reason, my brain does not work that way. I just do the beginning, like, 'Yeah, yeah! Ha ha! Woo! What up? Come on! Get at me!' I'm Captain Hook."

  • "People want to be friends with someone who likes to have a good time."

  • "I think making friends is not being afraid to look stupid, because everyone wants a friend who is willing to be stupid and fun. If you try and be too cool, it only works in high school. After that, being uncool is a very cool thing to do. So just have fun, and don't worry what other people think of you and people will want to be your friends."

  • "If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show."

Irresistible Adam DeVine Quotes

  • "You know it might be the bath salts talking, but I love that girl."

  • "What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep."

  • "Some celebrities like to get behind water conservation or helping the homeless get back on their feet. Me? Body grooming control: that's what I like to step behind 100 percent."

  • "After 'Pitch Perfect,' I only want to be in sequels. No. 2 of whatever."

  • "I don't want any competition; I've finally made it! I don't want any young bucks knocking me off and taking my job, so stay in school! Stay in school and get a nice job working in an office!"

  • "Hot girls have so many options. Sitting at home alone any night of the week and searching the Internet for a dude is on zero hot girls' agendas. So they're definitely not coming after you."

  • "Naked dudes are inherently funny."

Hilarious Adam DeVine Quotes

  • "I tried out for my basketball team every year and I never made it. You had to buy the shoes before you knew if you were on the team because it took a few weeks for them to ship. I bought the shoes every year, never once made the team, had a ton of high school basketball shoes."

  • "That's how cool he is. He's not afraid to piss off of a stranger's roof. That's balling."

  • "Even as a kid, I was a businessman. I figured out that if you plucked all the berries off my neighbor's tree and smashed them up, they made a Nickelodeon Gak-type consistency. I sold them to all the neighborhood kids and made stacks of quarters. Of course, the berries were poisonous, and I got in all types of trouble."

  • "Instead of Coachella, it should be called Whole Paycheckella."

  • "As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually."

  • "I sold a bunch of stuff. I sold Omaha Steaks, vacation packages... the worst, though, was Time Life Books, because no one wants Time Life Books. No one wants an 'Encyclopedia Brittanica' showing up at their house."

  • "I did telemarketing for years, starting at the age of 16, just selling steak knives to old people. Old people go through a weird amount of steak knives. I also sold straight meat over the telephone."

Best Quotes By Adam DeVine

  • "Shakespeare was a smart dude. He was the president of Rome."

  • "I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won't. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The 'art' will suffer."

  • "A funny thing is that you can't search me on Twitter because Adam Levine dominates there."

  • "I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet."

  • "You only YOLO once!"

  • "Be yourself. I had this three-week period where I wore this straw fedora. I thought it was what chicks wanted. And then it dawned on me that I was trying to be something that I wasn't, so I took the fedora off. So be yourself."

  • "That's another piece of advice: Don't go to college; follow your dreams. Unless you're a doctor, then go to college."

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