Remember to go with your instincts!
By asking the one simple question, “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. We all face both outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating). Our response to expectations determines whether we’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework helps us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively with other people. Managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use this framework to help people make significant, lasting change. Just as important, knowing our Tendency can help us manage ourselves. The Four Tendencies explain why we act—and why we don’t act.
The Four Tendencies distinguish how people tend to respond to expectations: outer expectations (a deadline, a “request” from a sweetheart) and inner expectations (write a novel in your free time, keep a New Year’s resolution).
Your response to expectations may sound slightly obscure, but it turns out to be very, very important. Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations (I’m an Upholder, 100%). Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense--essentially, they make all expectations into inner expectations. Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves. Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike
If you’d like to find out if you’re an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel, take this quiz now!