The Solution To President Trump’s Birth Control Decision
Not shooting blanks? No, thanks!
Many people have been vocal in opposing President Donald Trump's latest hit to the female reproductive system — the decision to roll back the Affordable Care Act's birth control mandate. Under the mandate, employers were required to include contraception coverage in the insurance policies they offered to employees, regardless of their personal beliefs.
The current administration sees this as an affront to religious freedom, and decided to correct that.
And you know what? We think that is totally fine. The right to religious freedom is what this country was born on, and if the CEO of your company — who, as of September 2016, is likely to be a man 93 percent of the time — believes that it will hurt his chances of being in God's Good Graces, then we need to respect that decision.
We just have two words to say: Snip, snip.
Of course, more often than not, birth control is used for reasons other than contraception (for reasons such as managing endometriosis, easing menstrual pain and controlling acne), but 42 percent of women who use birth control, use it exclusively for contraception.
So here is our solution for them: Insist your man (or men, no judgement) gets a vasectomy before he can get back into your bed.
Oh, he wants to have kids one day? He'll be fine! Just tell him the procedure is usually reversible, as long as he doesn't wait too long to decide he wants kids. You know what? Have him freeze a few sperm samples, just in case.
While the government has been focusing on controlling the female reproductive system, they've completely forgotten about the male reproductive system.
We've all heard the rumblings that Viagra is largely covered by insurance. And guess what? So are vasectomies! Well, they're covered under many insurance plans, as of now, barring any unexpected health care legislation.
And if this permanent birth control method isn't covered by your insurance policy (due to religious beliefs or otherwise), out-of-pocket expenses for a vasectomy are about one-third of the cost of the female alternative, tubal ligation, more commonly known as tube tying. In fact, along with the IUD, a 2009 study determined the vasectomy to be the most cost-effective method of contraception!
If your man's vasectomy isn't covered by insurance and you can't afford the procedure, we have good news: Planned Parenthood offers vasectomies, and like all of their procedures, he may be able to get one for free or at a low cost.
Finally, men all across the U.S. will understand why women are so obsessed with Planned Parenthood! This is beginning to feel like a blessing in disguise.
So, we guess we really should thank God for our religious freedom.