It's Okay To Have Fetishes: Here's How To Bring Them Up To Your Partner

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How to have that conversation about kink.

It's fine to let things get freaky.

There's a common misconception that wanting to explore fetishes in your relationship means you're dissatisfied or don't feel connected to your partner. In fact, it's just the opposite. Sharing your innermost sexual fantasies with your partner can increase the intimacy and trust in your relationship. If anything, the conversation-- and if all goes well, the potential sex-- will end up bringing you closer. If you want to upgrade your sex life from vanilla to more, let's say, meat and potatoes, it's time to have a conversation with your significant other about what really whets your appetite.

So put on 50 Shades of Grey, and then sit your partner down for a chat about your desire to spice up your sex life. But before you do, here are some tips.

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Don't bring it up DURING sex

It's probably not best to bring up that you're into handcuffs or rope play mid doing the deed. Instead, schedule a moment to have an intimate conversation about your desires at a time that's strictly non-sexual. This way, your partner wont feel pressured into doing anything they won't want to do, and they won't assume you want to take your sex life to the next level because you're dissatisfied with whatever's going on in the present moment.

Make your partner feel special

Let your significant other know that this isn't about lack of attraction. You feel ready to talk about fetish because you are so attracted to your partner that you want to bring your sex life to the next level--with them. Don't make it about your fetish, but rather make it specific to your partner. You want to try this out with THEM, not just anyone.

Be honest and come prepared and ready to answer questions

What you find freaky might actually freak your partner out. That's okay. Let them know why you like what you do, what turns you on about it, and why it would turn you on to do it with them. Come informed about your fetish and be prepared to answer some questions about not only it, but how it might affect your relationship. Remember: your partner might take your desire to change your sex life personally. It's not a bad thing-- it's about increasing intimacy!

Reassure your partner

Your significant other might be reluctant out of fear that they'll look silly, not please you, or do your kink "wrong." Assure them that there's no such thing. Let them know that the first few times, you basically just want to play around in the bedroom and that you'll show them the ropes--no pun intended. Start small and work up.


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