How To Manipulate Your Man, In The Best Possible Way

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Let your man cater to your every whim and desire.

Someone once told me that men need three things in order to be happy: fed, fucked, and flattered. If you do this in a relationship, then you can pretty much get away with anything.

I've heard variations of this before. My grandma used to tell me that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

But I needed to know really, how can we get men right where we need them in order to maximize our own pleasure, productivity, and happiness in our relationships and in our lives?

When it comes to making men happy, I'd always think to myself: what's the point? We live in a misogynistic world already. But here's the thing: when he's content, he'll end up devoting more of his time, energy, (whatever you need, really), to you. And at the end of the day, this is all about increasing your pleasure. A little bit of effort can go a very long way.

Never forget: women hold the power in the relationship. Don't like the world manipulation? How about WO-manipulation? Okay, fine. Let's substitute it with role play.

So-- how can you role play your way into the relationship of your dreams, where your man is essentially catering to your every whim and desire?

Let me break it down for you...

Stephen Einhorn

Stroke His Ego

Make him feel manly. Remember-- it all comes back to flattery. Nagging your man emasculates him. When a man feels emasculated he just shuts down. What use will he be to you then? None. Remember: this is all about you.

To get the most out of your guy, make him feel manly. Powerful. Important. And then hand him a grocery list and ask him if he can run to the market this afternoon because he's so good at cooking that so and so dish, and you've been craving it sooooo badly.

Then voila! You have some spare time to finish that project you're super stoked on, you can pick up that book you've been meaning to read, take a bubble bath, watch that documentary, etc.

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Ask For Help

Guys like to feel needed: everyone does. Plus-- accomplishing tasks allows men the chance to show off. A quick, "Baby, I can't figure out how to do this, can you show me?" can do wonders. Even if you haven't even TRIED to accomplish said task that you're about to make your significant other do for you. It's important to remember that your significant other isn't a mind reader. It's possible he's not meeting your needs because he doesn't know what they are, and when you finally tell him, you're yelling them at him.

Try being a little coy. Don't demand help, suggest that your life would be improved by it. When your BF thinks that he is the only person on earth who will be able to improve a situation, you can bet that he'll come running.

A good, "Can you help me? No one does this like you do!" does wonders also. Remember: this is called acting.

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Look Good While Doing It

Looking your best is your right. Your body is a temple-- it deserves to be adorned and lavished. When you are feeling and looking your best, people will respond to that. They'll beg to worship at your feet.

This might be an exaggeration, but you get it.

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Seduce

Keep it exciting. In a relationship it's important to be emotionally vulnerable. Guys need intimacy and need to feel safe and secure in order to feel connected to their partners. However, the bedroom is a whole other story. The weirder you keep it in there, the more fascinated and intrigued your partner will be with you.

The more intrigued you are by something the more eager you are to please it. Have sex with him on the laundry machine, and then have him fix it because literally it has been broken forever and he's kept forgetting about it.

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Fight, Forgive, Request

A great tactic? Catch your man off guard. Did you get in a fight about how he never does the dishes? Well--allow a full blown argument to happen. Then, a few days later, act as though nothing occured. This will confuse, startle, and scare your man. Why are you fine all the sudden?

Then, put a dirty dish on the counter and happily say, "Babe, you mind getting that?" He'll be so scared to start another war with you--and legitimately afraid that you might be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde-- that he'll get to it immediately.

Voila!

KUVVA

Damsel in Distress

If he does it for you once, make a big deal out of it. Did he kill a gross bug? Well, then that was the GROSSEST bug you have EVER seen and you can't BELIEVE he was brave enough to squash it for you!! What would you do without him?

I do this frequently and comically and I really like to ham it up. One time on a first date a guy came back to my house and I made him fix like 300 different things in my apartment. It was a lot quicker than having my landlord come over. And to be honest, the guy thought it was cute. "Ummm, while you're here, you don't know how to light a pilot light, do you?" Cue: big eyes and a giggle.

Here's the thing: sometimes there's nothing dumb about playing dumb. I needed a lot of shit fixed around my apartment, someone was around who knew how to fix it, and so I used my feminine wiles to get it done.

Is there a problem with that?

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