1. The understanding that New York in the movies VS. IRL looks a lot like this
In the movie the hottest guy in the city wanders into the same bar as the girl who could basically be you (minus the Manolos/ freelance writing job at Vogue that affords you a 13,000 dollar/ slow motion effects) and is instantly smitten.
In real life, you’ll definitely get approached in NYC, but it's never by Matthew McConaughey or Mr. Big.
2. Ricky’s Is Better Than Sephora
3. H&M = Laundromat
You could toss that dress you've worn once into the wash before drinks tonight….or you could stop by H&M on your way home and procure something fresh right away...
4. Rite Aide is the business.
You know that spritzing Evian on your face while eating a bag of wasabi flavored seaweed chips in isle 6 is better than that cucumber water at EuroSpa.
5. You recognize that homeless guy from Humans of New York...
That's because you went on a date with him 3 weeks ago. (Check out number 1 to remember why it actually wasn't so bad)
6. Cabs only take fares when the top is lit…
7. …But just because the top is lit, doesn’t mean it will stop for you.
Also, your cute outfit won't help either.
8. So of course a second pair of shoes is common sense
Because if you do not have a second pair of shoes in your bag your twinkles toes are super screwed.
9. Bottomless mimosas are for life
They will get you through regretful morning afters and all the rough work days.
10. You can expect to be harassed if you eat while walking down the street
Of course they're never clever comments and you could be eating something about as sexy as a PB&J but some guy WILL emerge from Queens to tell you to "eat it good".
11. The closest you will get to meeting your soulmate on the subway is the Match.com guy
And you're terrified of this moment because you know he will find you, stop you and demand to know your efforts to meet men and berate you with questions about why you're single.
12. OKCupid. It happens.
Match costs dollars and Tinder is a sex fest. Nobody got time for that.
13. When in doubt, go black
Black on black on black on black.
14. In a city with millions, sometimes you'll feel super single and alone
15. Doing you is something you always forget but then remember again.
'Cause you're in NYC, baby! You'll rule the world one day.