Are You And Your Partner Apart A Lot? Take Keri Russell's Counterintuitive Advice

One of Keri Russell's secrets to a happy relationship is very unconventional. "The Diplomat" star shared how she makes her long-term relationship with Matthew Rhys of "Widow's Bay" work after so many years. For Russell, the way for a relationship to thrive is accepting and even embracing time apart. "We're in a heavy relationship. But I have this gift. We have this gift of being apart a lot, and that is the way to do it," Russell said on Chelsea Handler's podcast "Dear Chelsea" from the October 2026 episode, "The Gift of Being Apart with Keri Russell." 

For Russell, time apart from Rhys was a way to keep their relationship fresh. "[Rhys] comes back around occasionally. As hard as it is, the house is mine," Russell went on. "The bed is mine. The rules are mine." Rhys and Russell welcomed son Sam Rhys in 2016, and Russell has two children with her ex-husband, Shane Deary: son River Russell Deary and Willa Lou Deary. With a big family, Russell said that time apart from Rhys means that his return home is that much sweeter. "It's probably more boring without [Rhys], but it's my rules," Russell told Handler. "And then he comes back, and everyone's so excited, and we're excited. You know, being apart is nice." Handler agreed that time apart creates a stronger bond. It can help create interdependence in a relationship, where each partner has a solid sense of themselves and a happier relationship overall. 

Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell don't spend all of their time together and, in a long-term relationship, this can actually be an asset. The couple first started dating in 2013 after reuniting on the set of "The Americans," and they've been together ever since. But as Russell shared with Chelsea Handler, she and Rhys thrive because they're not around each other constantly. While it may seem counterintuitive, having time apart in a relationship can offer myriad benefits. A little space can foster independence and anticipation about seeing the other, helping to negate small annoyances that build up with constant proximity. And this mindset can help a person champion independence when getting into a new relationship. 

In fact, the late Dolly Parton, who proved a marriage can be spicy and classy, often spoke about the benefits of time away from her husband, Carl Dean. Speaking of their almost 60-year-long marriage, Parton said, "When people say, 'How did it last so long?' I say, 'I stay going.' So we're not in each other's face all the time." This is the same idea as Russell has about her happy relationship with Rhys. So, for couples who find themselves apart frequently, don't worry. It turns out that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.