Tips For Moving Forward After Lying To Your Partner

You lied. Then you admitted it. Now it is time to put in the work. You've broken your partner's trust and rebuilding it will take time and effort. While each relationship is different and there's no universal solution, we want to help you understand where to go from here. How do you move forward after lying to your partner? You may wonder whether they will ever trust you again. But, that decision is up to them. What you can (and should) do is ensure that you will never lie again, and demonstrate how committed you are to your partner and your relationship.

You may find yourself constantly defending your actions and wanting to move past things so that you can go back to the way you and your partner were. We understand that feeling stuck in an endless cycle of seeking forgiveness can be tough, but it's normal for your partner to need some time before they can trust you again. It doesn't matter if it was a series of white lies or one significant betrayal — trust was broken. If you don't want to hurt them again and you're ready for this long-term commitment, then let's work out how to bring truth back into your relationship with a few simple yet effective methods.

Understand what trust really means

Admitting and owning up to a lie is the first step, but the work doesn't end there. Healing takes time, and you can't move forward without acknowledging what happened and the hurt you caused. Ask your partner what they need from you while still taking initiative. The worst thing you can do is simply expect your partner to forgive and trust you again without you actively trying to improve.

Research published in PMC PubMed Central found that the longer your relationship history was before the breach of trust, 'the more likely is recovery'. Meaning that if the lie occurred in the early stages of your relationship, it would take longer to rebuild said trust. Additionally, ensure that you and your partner have the same understanding of what trust means. Do not gaslight your partner. Listen to the impact your dishonesty has had on them, and accept that they might fear you'll betray them again. Show empathy and most importantly: apologize (more than once!) sincerely from your heart. When your partner is ready, suggest spending more quality time together. Make them feel that they are your priority, and that you understand the severity of your actions. Highlight your commitment to rebuilding trust in the relationship by taking responsibility and communicating honestly with your partner. Consistency is key, so continue to put in the work.

Break the cycle of lying

If you find yourself constantly lying to your partner, consider if you actually want to be in a relationship with them. There may be some underlying issues that you have not yet dealt with, which require more communication. Don't avoid it and be direct with your partner about your needs. Just because lying became a habit doesn't mean that you are not in control of your behavior. You can break this cycle by understanding the root of it. Learning about yourself can improve how you act towards others, including your partner. Self-discovery can be healing and if you can pinpoint the cause of your dishonest behavior, you know where to start from and how to approach it. Remember to keep putting in the work to rebuild trust after lying to your partner, as trust is the foundation of a relationship. Use this moment as an opportunity for growth and learn to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, and you are learning from it. Your lie does not define you. Once you learn that, committing to an honest and truth-filled relationship with your partner will not feel as difficult.