Moon Mapping Might Be The Secret Sauce For Improving Your Relationships

In astrology, we put a lot of stock into our sun sign and how it affects our relationships. The sun's masculine energy represents our ego and the outer selves we show to others. The moon, on the other hand, is more mysterious and feminine. Its cool, nighttime light radiates cosmic vibes that change throughout its eight cyclical phases. Lunar energy is about our subconscious and inner emotions, which is beneficial for understanding how love and romance figure into our lives.

Each of the eight lunar phases fosters a different energetic undercurrent to everything we do here on Earth. For instance, according to Today, many people look to these to gauge  whether it's the optimal time for taking on a different goal or project. But it's not just about careers. In fact, some astrologers suggest that planning your love life in alignment with the moon phases through a practice known as "moon mapping," can help you harness the formidable energy of the lunar phases, thus imbuing them with more power and better chances of success.

The good news is even beginners can use a specialized app like Moonly or My Moon Phase Lunar Calendar to get started. Once you have that, you'll want to determine which moon phase you are currently in, identify your goals or intentions, and record them. Ahead, we've outlined each phase of the moon and how they impact your romantic life so you can map accordingly.

A new moon is a clean slate phase for setting fresh relationship goals

Also called a dark moon (due to how much it obscures itself in the sky), the new moon is a time for romantic intention setting. It can be easy to feel burnt out by modern dating, just as it's common even for great relationships to become stuck in a rut sometimes. If you want to improve your love pairing, new moon energy will give your inner self a powerful boost, helping you connect to your core. You can figure out what changes you want to work on with your partner when you're in this deep place. Be specific to glean the most benefit. Think of applying a rule like 'no insults during fighting' rather than simply 'be nicer to each other.'

If you're unattached and looking, the new moon phase will provide you with the right energetic atmosphere to envision what you would actually like in your next relationship, not just what you think you're supposed to want. Maybe the rom-coms you watched growing up have you subconsciously thinking you should look for a square-jawed business-y type, but really someone cuddly and laid-back would be the perfect partner to make you happy.

Write it all down in your lunar journal, and then? Try making a wish. That's right. Keiko Ariizumi, master astrologer and author of "The Power Wish," says a wish made during the new moon phase is the most potent and energetically has "enough power to move the Universe."

A waxing crescent moon creates space to manifest your love

Have you ever sat down to meditate, but it just wasn't happening that day, no matter what? That won't occur now, guaranteed. The lunar energy present during a waxing crescent moon will help you breathe right through roadblocks and visualize precisely what steps you should take to bring your relationship goals from vision to fruition, astrologer Lisa Stardust tells Today.

Now is the time to metaphorically plant a few seeds in your love life. "Take first steps toward your goals and towards your planned changes," advises psychic astrologer Leslie Hale to Refinery29. This could include setting aside time to work through your matches on the apps and figure out what you're really looking for. Is it a long-term partnership, or some short term-fun? You should also schedule face time with someone important. Connecting through screens is ok for many purposes, but if you're striving for the kind of deep connection moon mapping can give you, in-person intimacy, complete with eye contact and maybe holding hands, is the way to go to harness the manifesting power of the phase. Something simple like a walk together will work for an old or a new connection. 

No need to schedule any big decisions or work through any longstanding arguments during this phase, however. It's a time for thinking and being, not attempting anything that will take too much energy or psychic output. You can save your efforts at wild adventures and giant leaps for later when they'll likely be more successful.

A first-quarter moon is prime time to go on the prowl

As the sliver of moon in the sky grows to reveal a half-moon light during this phase, your inner self becomes more illuminated too. And all that glow means things could start heating up quickly! If you're single, you might feel like literally going on the prowl and checking out the prospects via a dating app or downtown wine bar. And you'll probably be successful during this powerful season of the moon which creates an atmosphere that's great for confidence. There's sexy energy in the air these days, but not necessarily the deepest intimacy yet, so go for a physical connection if you want it, but not if you'll be disappointed by a lack of deep spiritual connection just yet. 

If you and your partner have been on a sexy time dry spell, get things going with a raunchy come-on, but don't go for a soul connection session just yet. Now is the time for physical action. The half moon is the time to "be brave as you set forth the changes you are planning and reaching for," says Mysticalcraft Arriana, a spiritual advisor and Tarot reader to Refinery29. The best conditions for full spirit connection come later in the moon phases.

A waxing gibbous moon could be the time to evaluate your romance plan

When you see a three-quarters moon in the sky, you're working with a lot of clarity and forward propulsion. You just passed through the sexy, "go get it, girl" energy of the first quarter moon, where you might have been in your body and not fully in your head. The lunar energy now is slow and introspective. Look back at your original romance goals and ask if your actions are helping you get there. Did you resolve to go on a once-a-week date night with your spouse, but it hasn't been happening? Why not? What do you have to change? 

The waxing gibbous moon is a time to look before you leap. For example, if you had a one-night stand during the sexy first quarter moon, don't text them right now. Definitely don't reach out to an ex. Focus on your figuring out your relationship priorities and do some self-editing.

Look back at what you wrote as your goals and visions in the first two phases of your moon mapping. Are you staying true to yourself? "Energy and momentum are strongly felt around this time and offer the space to re-evaluate how our intentions are going," spirituality and energy experts Britt Deanda and Tara Schulenberg tell Hello Giggles.

A full moon can be the perfect time to share deep intimacy

You envisioned your desires, wished them so, planted the seeds, and now is the time to pluck the fruit! Ariizumi says in their book the full moon phase is the counterpart to the new moon phase, i.e. wishing and wish fulfillment. Add in the fact that some astrologers believe the full moon lines up with ovulation, this phase could make you raring to go for satisfying sexual intimacy. But even if your menses aren't in lunar alignment, some astrology experts say the full moon is the luckiest time to pull the trigger with whatever you've been visualizing, from meeting your online boo IRL for the first time to agreeing to try something out of your comfort zone in bed. A full moon is the high point and harvest time of everything you've been focusing on and working for since the new moon, according to Stardust.

A word of warning: think twice before choosing the night of the fullest moon to plan anything super serious, like a wedding or a double date with your boss. You've heard the superstition about the full moon and over-the-top behavior? The "lunar lunacy effect" theorizes that a full moon literally changes people into lunatics — thus the root word "luna," meaning moon in Latin. There are plenty of anecdotes and folk tales about the effect over thousands of years, if not much hard science. Still, astrology's wisdom has us convinced to avoid planning any seriously significant events for this phase.

A waning gibbous moon will get you in the mood to spill your honest thoughts to your partner

During the waning gibbous moon phase, there's less moonlight in the sky, but the atmosphere is right to illuminate your innermost feelings and bring them to the surface. If you've been talking to someone new, and you're catching feelings, the lunar atmosphere is the right time to tell the truth and not simply play it cool. The waning gibbous moon "brings forth energy for stronger communication and revelations," according astrologers Deanda and Schulenberg tell Hello Giggles.

The same is true for relationships with  a longtime partner. However, keep in mind the energy of the waning moon isn't about grand gestures, so no need for giant presents and skywriting to proclaim your love. Look inwardly, and tell your partner about the very best you see in them. Tell them what's working for you. You should also prepare a list of what's not working for you, though it might not be the best time to emphasize the negative during this sensitive phase. It's a great time to communicate with someone vital while you still have deeper access than usual to your intimate emotions, which will help the connection go on stronger and longer. As Deanda and Schulenberg explained to Hello Giggles, "This is a time of feeling abundant and loved, and a time for gratitude."

A last quarter moon means time to let go

When just half of the moon is visible in the sky, the heavens are telling us to look at what we have left as we near the end of the lunar cycle. After the intimate communication and showing your cards you might have done in the last phase, the last quarter moon is a time to look hard at yourself, your partner (or your prospects) and take in the state of the union. Stardust tells Oprah Magazine it's the prime time for a lunar "spring cleaning," and first on the chopping block are any toxic relationship dynamics you can identify.

Do some couples break up during this stage? Yes. If you find you need to end your relationship, this is the best time to make that decision and to take the leap. It might hurt, but the atmosphere is right for letting go of what's not working. There is the least amount of cosmic resistance to endings during this penultimate moon phase, which could save you and your partner a few tears.

Remember, with the release comes the space for new things to grow. And that goes for continuing couples as well. If you decide your current relationship status can go the distance with just a few tweaks, this is when you write down what changes need to be made, make those mutual promises, and let the bad stuff go.

During a waning crescent moon, it's best to take a break from romantic pursuits

There's no room for argument; you need rest. A waning crescent moon, also called a balsamic moon, is prime time to give yourself some respite from the work you put in during the other phases. No new relationships, speed dating, or crazy weeklong backpacking trips with your boo. This final phase in the lunar cycle is a time for rest and surrender,  Deanda and Schulenberg told Hello Giggles. "Your internal energy is preparing itself for a new cycle, like the moon herself," they shared with the outlet. This makes it ideal period for patting yourself on the back and preparing new beginnings. 


You may find that your body and soul are too tired to give much of yourself to any big projects beyond recharging during this phase. Given the lunar atmosphere's clear cosmic instructions to rest and reenergize, you will likely not be rewarded with much instant success, romantically speaking, if you take on too much during this moon phase. While you unwind from this last cycle, you create space for new visions and intentions to pop up in your imagination. And these will be the seeds for the next cycle's work. And your relationships with both others and yourself can keep getting better.