Quote Of The Day By Ina Garten: 'When You're Young, You Marry Someone Who Has...'

Ina Garten has earned her place as one of the most iconic food gurus of her generation. The Food Network star has written multiple cookbooks (plus the memoir "Be Ready When the Luck Happens") and is most famous for hosting the cooking show "Barefoot Contessa," which ran for almost 20 years. Fans may also be familiar with this popular foodie from the TV series "Be My Guest with Ina Garten" or her podcast "Happy Hour with Ina Garten." Or maybe you recognize Garten's iconic haircut, which she's vowed never to change?

But just as impressive as Garten's long career and memorable 'do is her enviable marriage. The star, who was born in 1948, was just 20 when she married Jeffrey Garten, and the two have been happily married ever since. "He's just the best friend anybody could ever have," Ina told People of Jeffrey during a joint interview as they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Jeffrey added, "We've had the good fortune of growing up together in a very compatible way. We're like two vines that grew and wrapped themselves around one another." And with sweet words like this exchanged after so many decades together, it's no surprise that we chose Ina's poignant take on marriage as our quote of the day.

"When you're young, you marry someone who has the qualities you wish you had... As you grow older, one of two things happens. Either you start to find those differences increasingly annoying, and you grow apart, or you gradually become more like the other, even as you remain who you are." Ina Garten shared these thought-provoking words about marriage in her book, "Be Ready When the Luck Happens," one of our picks for the best memoirs to read based on your zodiac sign.

While the internet is littered with faux-deep relationship advice and observations, Garten's words are far from empty. She and Jeffrey Garten proudly celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary in 2025, so if anyone is qualified to speak about marriage and what it takes to make one work, it's Ina.

Ina Garten's quote relates to the idea that successful marriages are all about growth and personal development. The celebrity chef suggests that couples who have been together for years, or even decades, have evolved to be more like the person they're with. Perhaps that means adopting a little of your partner's personality traits or finding the flexibility to enjoy their hobbies with them — but without betraying yourself or your own needs. Becoming more like your spouse doesn't mean changing everything about yourself; it's more about compromising and developing your similarities.

On the other hand, Garten (who has proven a child-free life can still be so rewarding) suggests marriages that end can sometimes be more rooted in an early connection between two very different, stubborn people. These couples marry in the hopes of adopting their partner's positive attributes, but, potentially due to a lack of openness to change, they fail to grow together. Instead, the differences they were once attracted to become annoyances that drive them apart. Garten's take suggests having an open mind when it comes to change in your marriage. Just remember not to lose yourself in the process.

• "I concentrate on what's in front of me, and work hard, because I love what I do, and I have fun doing it; and then I leave the door open, so I'll be ready when the luck happens."
• "A good home should gather you up in its arms like a warm cashmere blanket, soothe your hurt feelings, and prepare you to go back out into that big bad world tomorrow all ready to fight the dragons."
• "I think a lot of people in a relationship feel like it restricts them, but I feel that since [Jeffrey Garten is] always there, and I'm always there for him, it gives us freedom, actually, which is nice."
• "If you don't take a chance, you won't have a great life."
• "If I walk into a room and [Jeffrey Garten is] reading a book, the book goes down. I always feel like there's nothing he'd rather do than spend time with me. That's what you want to find in somebody."