Kristi Noem's Lethal Legs Couldn't Distract Us From These Poorly Styled Outfits

Former Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Kristi Noem has been open about the fact that movement is a key part of her wellbeing. In the past, she has shared photos of herself working out, sometimes with her colleague, Secretary of Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard. As such, Noem's athletic profile has become a signature part of her look. In fact, Noem's toned arms have us wondering when she'll drop her fitness routine.

As a newcomer to Washington D.C., Noem recognized the gym as a place she could build important relationships with other politicians. "It's kind of our one chance to socialize, to get to know one another on a personal level. We exercise together," she told CNN in 2018. "But we also talk about legislation. We talk about what bills we have and end up working together on lots of things that are priorities."

But while she might be a natural in the gym, Noem is less of a natural when it comes to fashion. Too often, Noem has worn inappropriate cosplay outfits, and she seems to have a weakness for garish dresses. Her outfits feel overdone, with too many metallic details and buttons. "It looks like she's cosplaying as Melania. Her entire look is reflective of that," wrote one Reddit user. Even when she manages to find clothes that show off her workout results, Noem has been known to choose a shoe that ruins the entire outfit.

For a meeting with the American Optometric Association in 2017, Kristi Noem donned an orange dress and a pair of cowboy boots. Even though this look reveals an expanse of toned calves, the color is a horrible shade on Noem's warm color palette. Plus, while there is definitely such a thing as a dressy cowboy boot, this short style is way too casual for a political setting. The animal print is a little more quirky than it is serious, and she winds up looking like a college student doing an internship at the Capitol rather than a high-profile politician.

For an Instagram post celebrating South Dakota Lieutenant Governor Larry Rhoden's birthday, Kristi Norm shared a photo of herself in a chambray shirt dress and knee-high cowboy boots. While Noem's legs appear muscular, they aren't enough to redeem this look, suffering due to the shapeless dress silhouette. Additionally, the graphic floral pattern on the frock's sleeve competes visually with the zigzag stitch design on the boots, making this outfit busy and unfocused.

For an appearance at the South Dakota capitol, Kristi Noem donned a look that had a nice shape but a horrifying color story. The highlighter yellow blouse clashed with the pale yellow of her shoes, and neither color suited the cool gray tones of her checked skirt. Noem managed to nail the fit and proportions, and the skirt reveals a flattering glimpse of her muscular calves, but the whole ensemble is a miss thanks to the top, which is way too bright.

Kristi Noem looked super patriotic in an Instagram photo of her celebrating the Fourth of July. But while her outfit featured the requisite red, white, and blue, the trucker hat and denim cut-offs paired oddly with the ruffle collared blouse. It was a vibe mismatch, especially with Noem's girlish pigtails. Noem's long legs were on full display, but they further confused the vibe of the look, which seemed torn between sweet and sporty.

For a 2022 appearance in Newport Beach, Kristi Noem slipped into a little black dress with floral appliqués. But while the short dress revealed a lovely expanse of Noem's fit legs, it looked thrown on rather than styled, which undercut the whole look. Noem simply wore the frock on its own with a pair of neutral heels, rather than adding a jacket or statement jewelry that would made the ensemble feel intentional.

Kristi Noem wore a one-shouldered gown to the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association's Big Blue Bash in 2025. While the bright blue dress was clearly on theme, the fabric had a strange stiff quality to it. It revealed glimpses of Noem's toned legs via a side slit, but that wasn't enough to offset the awkward way it draped on her body. Plus, all the sparkles make it look like she's competing at a Miss America pageant, rather than simply being a political figure at a professional event.