Lessons To Take From Kimberly Guilfoyle And Gavin Newsom's Disastrous Marriage

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Kimberly Guilfoyle and Gavin Newsom were once one of the hottest duos in politics (she was a Court TV legal analyst, he, mayor of San Francisco). The twosome tied the knot in late 2001 in front of 500 guests and were often photographed smiling alongside each other at high-profile events — until they called it quits in early 2005. But while the short-lived marriage of the current U.S. ambassador to Greece and the 40th governor of California may have been a disaster, it taught us some important lessons.

One of them is the notion that sometimes couples are better off as friends. Guilfoyle and Newsom seemingly have a better relationship as platonic political peers than as romantic partners. "Gavin has had a decent professional connection — or maybe transactional is the word — with Kimberly before she started dating Donald Trump Jr. He wasn't fazed by her political transformation, and he'd talk to her every once in a while," a source told The Hollywood Reporter. "As far as I know, there wasn't a year that they didn't talk," the insider added. The outlet also reported that other sources have said that Guilfoyle even helped her ex-husband with his own political metamorphosis, including the launch of his extremist-welcoming podcast, "This Is Gavin Newsom." But forging a better relationship by bonding over a common interest isn't the only thing these two polarizing figures have taught us.

There's nothing wrong with maintaining a busy career in married life, but Kimberly Guilfoyle and Gavin Newsom showed us why being too focused on work can strain a relationship. In an interview with SFGate in 2004, Guilfoyle attempted to defend their decision to keep up their demanding work schedules, saying: "Why can't a couple have two major careers? And why is it weird for the woman to be the bicoastal one? Men do it all the time! To these people who question our marriage, I want to ask: How is your marriage doing? Mine is just fine. If you have respect and love for each other, there's no reason this can't work out great for everyone." But while Guilfoyle had a point, she didn't prove it. She and Newsom announced their divorce around 10 months later and openly admitted that their professional ambitions got in the way. In a media announcement, the power duo said they were splitting because of their demanding jobs. 

The lesson here is that spouses need to put each other first — ahead of their careers. Lisa Brateman, a New York City psychotherapist and relationship specialist, told Business Insider that to stay committed, couples must make time for each other a nonnegotiable part of life. "Whenever people say they don't have time to give the relationship the time it needs, they're not making the relationship a priority. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it will be there later." 

Their turbocharged careers kept the couple separated, and that physical distance appeared to lead to emotional distance. As the then-mayor of San Francisco, Newsom remained in the city when Guilfoyle moved to New York to anchor the program "Both Sides" on Court TV. "I miss him, but he's doing great. He's kicking butt and I'm so proud of him," Guilfoyle told SFGate when asked about her husband while she hobnobbed at a Big Apple party in 2004. He also made an interesting comment about their living arrangements to The Chronicle, sharing (via SFGate), "This living on different sides of the continent has taken a huge toll personally. The transcontinental marriage is tough — the only godsend is that we don't have kids. You give up your life in the traditional sense."

Living on different coasts clearly puts stress on relationships, with one 2010 study finding that long-distance romances last an average of just 2.86 years. Similarly, a 2018 Kiiroo study of 1,000 people in long-distance relationships cited a lack of physical intimacy and a lack of communication as two of their biggest challenges. The lesson here? If you're moving miles away from your spouse, you need to put in more effort to effectively communicate and keep the marriage strong. "Spending quality time together or having similar hobbies builds connection in a relationship," psychotherapist Genny Finkel, LCSW, told VeryWellMind. "If you're not spending enjoyable time together, the odds are, you're not maintaining a strong bond."

Kimberly Guilfoyle, who's undergone a dramatic transformation since her first divorce, has made no secret of her Republican views, even serving as one of President Donald Trump's senior advisers during his 2020 presidential campaign. It's surprising, then, that she chose a mate who, as the Democratic mayor of an extremely liberal city, was on the opposite end of the political spectrum. While it's possible for spouses with vastly different political views to have a healthy relationship, Guilfoyle and Newsom proved why it's a good idea to think carefully about this issue before getting romantically involved.

Though the two never publicly confirmed that their political beliefs created problems in their marriage, their situation is a cautionary tale. If Guilfoyle, who is unrecognizable in pics before her Trump days, ever felt she couldn't truly be herself in the relationship, then marrying Newsom wasn't a good decision. "Sometimes, people can minimize or hide what they really need because they don't want to lose a relationship," Anita Chlipala, a relationship therapist and author, told VeryWellMind. "It's important that the person you are dating knows the real you, even if it means that your stance is a deal-breaker for them." 

Though it's a good idea to consider tips for getting back into dating after a divorce and to take time to reflect on what happened and ensure you're in a healthy headspace, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Gavin Newsom proved there's no set timeline, especially when there are no children involved. Just 10 months after they announced their split, Guilfoyle went on a blind date with businessman Eric Villency, and the two were engaged by December 2005. When the couple married, in May 2006, she was five months pregnant with her first child. Though that relationship ended in divorce, not resting on her laurels clearly worked for Guilfoyle, as it allowed her the opportunity to become a mother.

Likewise, Newsom didn't waste years before moving on and finding the love of his life. News broke in November 2006 that he was dating actor Jennifer Siebel, who would become his second wife. The two are still together and have four children , though there are strange things about Jennifer Siebel and Gavin Newsom's marriage.

Gavin Newsom, in his new memoir, "Young Man in a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery", made a frank confession about why he tied the knot with Kimberly Guilfoyle. He admitted (via The New York Times), "I had become quite skilled at repressing my feelings, and Kimberly allowed me this emotional distance." About their dating period, he explained, "I would go through all the motions until the motions led me right up to the altar." That suggests that Newsom essentially settled for Guilfoyle and entered into a marriage of convenience. It hints that he proposed to her because it seemed like the logical next step, not because he was truly in love. 

As professional matchmaker Sameera Sullivan, MS, said in a May 2023 interview with Cosmopolitan, "If there is a lack of deep emotional connection, trust, and understanding between partners, it may indicate that the relationship needs more time to develop before considering engagement." At the point Newsom and Guilfoyle got married, though, they'd been dating about six years. If in his heart Newsom wasn't 100% sure Guilfoyle was the woman for him that far into their relationship, they should have split, instead of walking down the aisle.