Relationship Red Flags In Hallmark Movies That Are Hard To Ignore

Let's be honest. Deep down, many of us have a soft spot for Hallmark movies. They're easy to watch, give us a fuzzy feeling, and are perfect for a lazy afternoon cozying up under a blanket (especially in the colder months). But as much as we hate to say it, they're also rife with serious relationship red flags you shouldn't aim to carry over into real life.

One of the reasons Hallmark movies are so successful, particularly the channel's seasonal offerings, is because they all tend to follow a similar plot arc that's familiar and predictable. A high-powered, independent woman grows tired of the corporate life and decides to get away to a small town for the holidays. There, she finds a traditionally handsome stranger to fall love with, they have a misunderstanding (which is a little too easily resolved), and they spend the rest of their lives together. Or so it's implied. Very often there's a wedding, or at least a kiss in the snow, thrown in too. But while that sickly sweet fantasy might be nice to think about and watch on screen, there are several issues with these romances that are hard to ignore.

It's an old cliché that a wedding equals happily ever after, and there are countless examples of the trope in Hallmark's offerings, with big, romantic ceremonies serving as the happy ending in the likes of "To Have and To Holiday" and "A Bride for Christmas." The wedding usually comes quickly and in spite of any issues the protagonists have experienced. But as sweet as the sentiment is, it's not realistic. In fact, it's a big red flag to suggest a wedding can fix relationship problems and make everything okay forever. 

For most couples, a wedding is just the start of a lifetime of working through issues together. Though marriage can bring deeper feelings of commitment to a relationship, couples may also find it brings challenges such as financial pressure or tough questions about splitting time between families. Hallmark fans agree that a wedding doesn't always equal a happy ending, with some calling for the movies to show what happens after the reality of married life sets in. "They always wait till the end to bring them together ... why not show them together living their lives?" one fan wrote on Facebook. We have to agree.

Hallmark also ignores the fact that older people can experience relationship turmoil, which suggests as soon as a person gets married (which should happen young), everything else will go smoothly. "Why not [a Hallmark movie] about an older couple finding new love, or a middle-aged couple, having some trouble in their married life and something sparks new life into it?" one fan asked via Facebook.

There are many successful relationships between people who are total opposites, but it's troublesome to romanticize falling in love with someone you have little in common with. That's the premise of Hallmark's "The Heiress and the Handyman" though, in which Jodie Sweetin's character, the high-maintenance heiress June, is forced to move to a farm. There, she falls in love with salt-of-the-earth Bart, played by Corey Sevier. 

Just look at one of the red flags between exes Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz to learn why it's rarely a good idea to be with someone who has a completely different personality or set of values. A 2022 study found that most people in long-term relationships fell in love (and stayed) with people they shared similarities with. Though there are benefits to dating someone different to you — including broadening your horizons or balancing each other out — there are plenty of downsides, too. 

"While differences can be beneficial, too many differences can create conflict and make it difficult for a relationship to flourish," clinical psychologist Chelsea Sarai told MindBodyGreen. "If you're too different, you might struggle to find common ground or to connect emotionally," therapist Amira Martin added.

Paying attention to and acting on red flags in a relationship can be hard, but it's necessary. In Hallmark movies, though? It's often implied it's better to ignore them to pursue true love. Many movies feature one character making a decision that, in real life, would be a total dealbreaker. But in movie world, it's considered romantic.

Take 2016's "A December Bride." In the movie, Jessica Lowndes' character Layla has to deal with her former fiancé falling in love with her cousin. As she heads home for the holidays, she's forced into an awkward situation when her friend Seth (played by Daniel Lissing) decides to tell her family and friends they're engaged. In reality, they're not only not betrothed, they're not even really dating.

Layla then has to lie about their (non-existent) relationship. But, instead of steering clear of the man who lied to everyone she loves and orchestrated a fake engagement, they fall in love and get married. Red flag? 100%. We wouldn't recommend entering into any relationship that's based on mistruth from the start, and it's vital to recognize signs of manipulation from your partner, which include lying and forcing you to do the same.

Everyone wants someone who's truly interested in them and invests time in a relationship. But if someone has hours upon hours to dedicate to you before even getting to know you? Red flag. We've seen this many times in Hallmark movies, when one character moves heaven and earth to get close to someone they've only briefly met, or suddenly seems totally consumed by the relationship, abandoning other commitments. It's one of the biggest gripes viewers had with "The Heiress and the Handyman," with one IMDb reviewer writing of the male lead, "He's ... supposed to be this amazing farmer with all this knowledge and skills and yet has all the time in the world to help out this total stranger." 

If someone doesn't seem to have commitments (like work or hobbies) outside of you, or is willing to drop them on a dime in the early stages, it could be a sign they're not in a healthy place for a relationship. Building a clear identity outside romance is key for self-confidence and emotional resilience. Relationships also thrive when both people enjoy a little time apart to pursue their own interests. It lets them explore their independence and gives them plenty to discuss with their partner during quality time together. "When partners have their own set of interests, friends, and time for self, that makes them happier and less bored. Time alone also gives partners time to process their thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others," psychologist Terri Orbuch told The Sydney Morning Herald.

Many of us have found ourselves love bombed, with a potential partner coming on really strong, really fast. Love bombing can consist of overly grand gestures or words, which are usually done (purposefully or otherwise) to gain control over the other person. Unfortunately, this is all too common in Hallmark movies, and usually involves the male protagonist going above and beyond to impress his love interest, even though they don't really know each other. 

Take "The Christmas Promise," for example. In this holiday romp, a carpenter named Joe (played by Dylan Bruce) helps a woman named Nicole (Torrey DeVitto) finish work on the home she was building with her late fiancé. Though he's hired to do so, he repeatedly goes beyond the call of duty to get closer to Nicole, which borders inappropriate considering he's been hired by her and she's a widow.

In the movie, it's considered sweet. In real life though, it would be classified as love bombing and could suggest Joe isn't ready for a real relationship. "People who come on too strong generally have an anxious attachment style," sex and intimacy educator Xanet Pailet told Business Insider. "They crave intimacy but are often over-sensitive to the moods of their partners. There is a fear of losing them and this shows up as being clingy or needy," they added. Even worse? A 2017 study found a link between love bombing and narcissistic personality traits. So it's definitely time to take off the rizz-colored glasses when it comes to real-life dating.

Another Hallmark movie red flag we can't ignore is how often women are portrayed as submissive to their love interest. In many movies about heterosexual couples, the woman starts out strong and independent, often with a corporate, retail, or media job. According to a 2023 study of Hallmark and Lifetime movies from The New York Times, most of Hallmark's female protagonists work in large companies (22%), retail or hospitality (18.5%), or the media (17%). 

But, as an anonymous Hallmark movie writer told Entertainment Weekly, in too many stories, the high-powered woman bends to her love interest's wants or needs. "The woman basically has to be a saint, but she still has to be a take-charge kind of female until she basically submits to the guy at the end," they shared. In movies like 2023's "Everything Christmas," the female protagonist even leaves her job early on, suggesting she can't juggle her busy career and love.

The Hallmark writer also pointed out that it's often the male protagonist who helps the woman get what she wants — even if her goals have nothing to do with love. "Generally, the proper love interest has to do something to help her realize her dream or teach her a lesson about how to achieve that dream and the importance of it," they said. While a partner offering help may seem innocent, having healthy boundaries between work and relationships is a good thing. As celebrity relationship expert Nicole Moore exclusively told us while pinpointing the red flags in Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' relationship, "It becomes a red flag when one partner doesn't trust their creative vision enough without their partner's input," she said.

Ever seen a Hallmark movie where two people start out as strangers but end up in an extremely serious, committed relationship after just a few weeks or months? Of course you have. It's happened in countless films, including "A Safari Romance," "A Very Venice Romance," and "A Bride For Christmas." 

In the latter, romantic lead Aiden bets his friends he can get a girl to marry him by Christmas, despite it being only a month away. He meets Jessie and, after some ups and downs — including Jessie's discovery of the bet — Aiden proposes and they tie the knot in front of enthusiastic friends and family. The rapidity of the proposal is lauded as a fairytale ending when, in real life, it would be a major red flag — particularly as Aiden made it clear at the start of the movie he had no interest in tying the knot.

Although every couple moves at a different pace and, technically, there's no right or wrong time to get engaged, a month isn't much time to make an informed decision about marriage. Hallmark's suggestion to the contrary isn't a great message, especially because there are plenty of ways to embrace new relationship energy while still being realistic. As certified matchmaker Shilpa Gandhi told Standard, "It's best to wait until at least three to six months to see if the feelings you have are for real or just a fading spark of lust. You need to have emotional and rational feelings towards one another."

Sure, we've given permission to get back with your ex — but only sometimes. That's because there are many times when it's a bad idea, especially if your relationship was based on passionate sexual attraction instead of real friendship. In Hallmark movies, though, getting back with an ex is usually seen as a good idea regardless of the circumstances. The films rarely follow our tips for rekindling a relationship with an ex, including taking things slow, which is vital to figuring out if you've truly put past issues behind you. We also rarely see characters put in the work needed to make a relationship work the second time, like setting clear goals and boundaries to ensure the same issues don't return.

One ill-advised reconciliation came in "My Argentine Heart," when two exes reunited to save a ranch. Viewers complained that the movie focused too much on how they didn't get along, without fully developing the supposed deep connection that made them fall in love again. "The leads spent so much time during the movie being bitter, awkward, annoyed at each other," one critic wrote on Facebook.

Exes getting back together was also the plot of "All Summer Long," which sees college lovers reunite after working together in close quarters. In reality, there's a reason The Knot found that only 15% of engaged couples met in college or graduate school. Our wants and needs change a lot from our teens and early 20s onwards, and someone who fulfilled those needs in the past is unlikely to do the same years later.

In Hallmark movies, love trumps everything ... including lying. Lies are the basis of multiple plots on the channel, including "Polar Opposites." In that rom-com, Rhiannon Fish's character Emma has to find a way to get to Antarctica to see her dad. After missing her boat ride, she sneaks onto a cruise ship — and the lies only continue from there. Emma pretends she works on the ship and repeatedly fibs to those around her about who she is, including her love interest, an engineer named Andy. But despite all of Emily's offences (sneaking into another country and creating a false identity), Andy forgives her and the movie ends with the couple living in Antarctica together.

In the real world, it's not the smartest decision to move to another country with someone who repeatedly misled you and broke the law. Although it can okay to offer someone a second chance, there are several steps to take before moving forward with a partner who's been deceptive. Serious conversations need to be had about why they lied and what the truth is, and couples should move very slowly after the truth comes out, to allow the person who was deceived time to see if trust is possible. 

Most Hallmark movies lend themselves to the idea that "the one" is out there and we should do anything to find and stay with them. We've seen that play out in "Love On The Slopes," "Cooking With Love," and "Love, Once and Always," as well as various other projects from the network that revolve around the idea that two people were always destined to unite as one. Their blossoming romance takes precedence over other important parts of life, such as family, friendships, or a thriving career. In the real world though, the concept of 'the one' is outdated and rife with patriarchy.

Repeatedly being subjected to the idea that there's only one person out there for us is dangerous, as it may stop people leaving relationships that are no longer healthy. "If we hold on to the idea that they are our soulmate, we could stay in a relationship that is unhealthy and possibly toxic. We wed ourselves to the idea of 'the one' instead of continuing to evaluate the quality of the relationship," licensed psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Kimber Shelton explained to Bustle. Though we understand a Hallmark movie about constant relationship issues may not make prime cozy season viewing, it's important to take the channel's storylines with a pinch of salt and remember they're just that: stories. And they may not translate into real life.