Kristi Noem's Biggest Makeup Mistakes Of All Time

When it comes to critiquing a member of the Trump Administration, Kristi Noem is an easy target. When she's not playing dress-up as an ICE agent or wearing outfits that have people talking for all the wrong reasons, she's dressing like a teenager, which makes her look older, or she's wearing a shoe choice that ruins an entire outfit in a matter of seconds. To top it all off, she's having all these fashion faux pas moments while sporting the ever-popular Mar-A-Lago face. In other words, Noem needs a stylist, a makeover, or, even better, someone to let her know that a grown woman cosplaying various government roles is, for lack of a better word, strange.

In addition to consistently serving up some major fashion fails, Noem is also the queen of makeup mistakes. Granted, she's not alone in this, as many of the women in the Trump Administration appear to have never had any proper guidance in makeup application. Still, Noem's errors are so noticeable that it's shocking she's able to look in the mirror and go about her day. However, the best part about someone else's makeup failures is that they allow the rest of us to learn from them. From rogue eyebrows to wearing a foundation that matches that of her boss, Donald, Noem is a perfect example of what not to do when applying makeup. Unless, of course, you're going as Noem for Halloween.

Despite her attempt to hide her natural complexion, it's obvious that Kristi Noem struggled with acne at some point in her life — which is totally normal! But when you have textured skin like Noem, your foundation should be used to smooth out that texture, instead of amplifying it, which happens when foundation is caked on. Luckily, Noem can fix this. "If the skin surface is dehydrated, textured, [or simply] not at its best, this can change how makeup [lies] on the skin," makeup artist Lori Taylor Davis told Byrdie, adding that skin prep, like exfoliation, is essential in minimizing the cakey look.

It's bad enough that Kristi Noem's eyebrows look like they've been drawn on with a Sharpie, but most of the time, they're not even matching. While some mismatched eyebrows are subtle — they're sisters, not twins, after all — this is one of those cases where it's extremely obvious as one eyebrow has a curved arch while the other has a very pointy arch. Because eyebrows frame the face, when one isn't like the other, your entire face is called out, no matter how intact the rest might be. Granted, eyebrows are the hardest part of any makeup routine to nail, so one would think that when Noem isn't out cosplaying as a member of ICE, she'd call in the experts for help.

When it comes to Kristi Noem and blush, the two seem to have a difficult relationship. Sometimes it looks as though she applied blush in the dark, because it comes off looking streaky and unpolished, while other times it looks like she put it on and didn't even bother to try to blend it. If Noem were going as Raggedy Ann for Halloween, her blush technique would make sense. But considering the snapshot was taken at what appears to be a fancy event, it's safe to assume it's not Halloween, and it's time for Noem to invest in better makeup tools.

Eyelash extensions are extremely popular, and for good reason: they're convenient. And if done by a professional who tells you when enough is enough, they can look spectacular. However, whoever is doing Kristi Noem's eyelashes is failing her — they're too heavy and too long, ultimately casting a shadow over her eyes. It's also worth noting that getting eyelash extensions involves risk, and they're not supposed to be for everyday wear. "My general consensus is that it's safe to do for special occasions," dermatologist Dr. Shari Lipner told Today. "But lash extensions shouldn't be something you're doing all the time or consistently reapplying with no breaks." The glue used is toxic, after all.

Finding the right foundation for our complexion, especially as it changes throughout the seasons and as we age, isn't always easy. But one thing's for sure: if you look in a mirror and see an orange face staring back at you and your initials aren't DJT, then it's time to research other foundation colors. Kristi Noem traveled to Italy and appeared to be in fear of the Trevi Fountain while also trying to make orange great again. As evidenced by her arms and other photos, orange is not Noem's natural color, and it just might be time for her to work with a color consultant.

In news that just might save you from your next makeup faux pas, the secret to the perfect overlined lip is hidden in the alphabet. As much as that might sound like a riddle, it's true. If you use your lip liner to draw the letter O in the center of your mouth, then fill in from there, you'll end up with a natural pout that's perfectly overlined without looking like you let your three-year-old niece come at you with a tube of lipstick. This is absolutely a trick Kristi Noem needs to learn stat, because her overlining technique isn't working for her.

If there's one thing to learn from Kristi Noem's never-ending makeup mistakes, it's that being heavy-handed is never a good idea. For example, do you really need a nighttime cat-eye look, especially during your workday? Such dramatic, dark eye makeup should be reserved for nights out on the town. But for some reason, like Kimberly Guilfoyle and her cringey fashion and beauty trends, Noem is hanging on to the thick black eyeliner for dear life. Which is sad, because she actually has pretty eyes, and instead of highlighting them, she hides them.

While at first it appears like Kristi Noem's eyelashes cast a shadow on her face, closer inspection suggests that the dark coloring on the upper eyelid close to the nose is most likely misplaced eye shadow. Although some looks, especially if you're going for something dramatic and theatrical, call for eye shadow that extends past the eyelids on both sides, that's not what Noem was going for. Instead, it looks like Noem got ready in a rush, didn't double-check her eye makeup on the way out the door, and now she has this distracting dark spot.

When it comes to creating dimension and definition, contouring is an essential step in makeup application. It's also something that Kristi Noem, who has a naturally round face, could use. Although it sometimes looks like she's tried to do contouring with her blush, she always misses the mark. If she wanted to create the illusion of high cheekbones, instead of applying blush where she usually does — on her cheekbones — she should apply contour powder under her cheekbones. After she blends it in, it could give Noem a totally different and multi-dimensional look. It would also help to minimize the appearance of her uneven skin texture.

The only thing worse than an incorrectly overlined lip is an underlined lip, and that's exactly what Kristi Noem was sporting in July 2024 at the Republican National Convention. It's hard to say what might have led her to not fully cover her upper lip with lipstick, but it's definitely a noticeable makeup mistake. Even if Noem was uncomfortable in trying to approach the overlined lip look — which she also struggles with as evidenced above — you'd think she'd at least fill in those last few millimeters. If the mistake can be spotted in a photograph, then she must have been able to see it in the mirror.