Modern Family Star Sofia Vergara's Marriage To Joe Manganiello Was Doomed From The Start

The following includes references to addiction.

When Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello ended their marriage in 2023, seven years after they tied the knot, sadly, we weren't shocked. The "Modern Family" and "Magic Mike" stars didn't initially share the reason for their split, but told Page Six, "We have made the difficult decision to divorce. As two people that love and care for one another very much, we politely ask for respect for our privacy at this time as we navigate this new phase of our lives." We didn't need them to confirm why they were going their separate ways right out the gate though, because we noticed several hints their marriage was doomed from the start.

One of the most glaring? The duo moved in together five months after they started dating and got engaged only a month after that. Though relationships move at different paces and how soon is too soon depends on the couple, dating just half a year before proposing is far shorter than the average 2.5 years Shane Co. reported in 2021 that most U.S. couples wait to become betrothed. "Generally speaking, it takes about a year to get to know somebody. The reason for that is we're always putting our best foot forward when we meet," Stan Tatkin, Psy.D., MFT, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy and author of "In Each Other's Care," told Men's Health. "It's a bad idea to propose when in the early courtship phase. ... We only see what we want to see," Tatkin added. And there were several other reasons we saw Vergara and Manganiello's divorce coming, too.

One of the most important things a couple can do before tying the knot is ensure they're on the same page about having children, because differing opinions is a serious dealbreaker. Speaking to El País in 2024, Vergara, who has a son from a previous relationship, shared, "My marriage broke up because my husband was younger; he wanted to have kids and I didn't want to be an old mom." Vergara, who's also gotten very candid about aging and plastic surgery, added, "I'm ready to be a grandmother, not a mother. So, if love comes along, he has to come with [his own] children."

However, the "Tumbledown" star shared a slightly different take with Men's Journal. "We did try to have a family for the first year and a half. And we had a huge conversation right out of the gate during the first month we dated. I said, 'If you're done with kids, then I understand. Just tell me, and I'll know what this is, and that's okay.' But that wasn't the case with her," Manganiello said.

Whether they tried for children or not, Vergara making it very clear she doesn't want more kids suggests her relationship with Manganiello was never going to work considering his desire to become a dad. Equally, if they did discuss kids early on, they didn't have strong enough communication skills to ensure the other knew where they stood, or weren't willing to face the truth that they weren't compatible.

Sofia Vergara was quick to jump from one serious relationship into another with Joe Manganiello. Us Weekly confirmed Vergara and Manganiello were dating only two months after she ended her engagement to Nick Loeb after four years together in May 2014 (the same month she first met Manganiello). "It's very, very new," an insider said in July 2014 of Vergara and Manganiello. There may have been something in the water at "Modern Family," as Vergara's co-star Sarah Hyland also got together with her husband, Wells Adams, just two months after a breakup (and that's one of Hyland and Adams' biggest red flags).

Manganiello clearly wasn't too worried about dating someone newly out of a lengthy relationship though, as he got the "Hot Pursuit" star's number immediately from her co-star Jesse Tyler Ferguson. "My friend is an editor and told me she was about to make the announcement [that Vergara was single]," he told Cosmopolitan U.K.

Moving on and dating again quickly after a relationship is certainly no crime. However, only having a few weeks between her romances with Loeb and Manganiello didn't give Vergara much time to experience life as a single woman again, or determine what she wanted (and didn't want) from a new relationship. "Dating before you've completed the emotional business around your past relationship almost guarantees that you will choose the same kind of person you just left," Jeannine Lee, author of "Beyond Divorce," told Online Divorce. That's why her rapid speed didn't fill us with hope these two would last.

Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello reportedly have different attitudes towards alcohol, which suggested they weren't going the distance. "One factor [in their breakup] was absolutely their differing take on partying and enjoying a cocktail," a source told The U.S. Sun. "Sofia really enjoys cocktails and drinks with girlfriends. It is one of the way she lets her hair down. She has always been like that. She goes out to meet up with people at their homes and also host little soirees at her place," they added.

It's okay to enjoy a drink in moderation if you can do it in a healthy and safe way (especially if you have a mindful approach to your drinking habits), but Manganiello lives a sober lifestyle after experiencing addiction and told "HuffPost Live" in 2013 he hadn't consumed alcohol in over a decade. "There was a period of about four years where I needed to quit drinking. And the drinking got in the way [of my career]," he said. He then told Haute Living in 2015, "I battled with addiction at a young age and got to the other side of that. That's an ongoing battle."

The U.S. Sun's insider claimed, "He really worried that drinking alcohol again could send him spiraling, so he would always steer clear of temptation." It can be difficult and dangerous for someone with addiction struggles to be around alcohol — especially in their own home. Though Manganiello being sober doesn't necessarily mean the "America's Got Talent" judge had to totally give up alcohol to support him, The Recovery Village notes one of the best ways to support someone with an alcohol addiction is to stop drinking too.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Though opposites may attract, that doesn't mean relationships between two very different people will last forever, and a source told People that Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello didn't have a lot in common. "[They] differ immensely in style and what they like to do, although during the marriage, each tried to put the other's interests ahead of their own to make it work," they said. But while compromise is crucial to a healthy marriage, too much can sometimes lead to those in them feeling resentful and unfulfilled.

Another People insider claimed the exes didn't focus too much on their dissimilarities at the start, but the cracks began to show the further they got into their relationship. "They definitely love and respect each other but once that initial passion dies down and other areas get in the way, then little differences get bigger," the source said. "They had differences in how their lives should go forward and it caused stress," they added. As Michele Miller, LCSW of Manhattan Wellness, told The Everygirl, "Opposites in relationships won't work unless couples are accepting of each other's differences, including their strengths." Sometimes, even if a couple is willing to look past and work on what sets them apart, not having enough in common can cause marriages to break down.

A lack of arguments may sound like a good thing, but it's actually a relationship issue that signals it just isn't going to work – and Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello proved that. She claimed during a 2015 appearance on "On Air with Ryan Seacrest" (via People), "We have no problems. I cannot believe it. I always tell him, 'This is very suspicious!'" But that suggests the two potentially weren't being open and honest with each other about their wants and needs, and that's not sustainable in the long run.

Of course, no relationship should constantly be filled with blistering shouting matches and bickering, but the odd disagreement every now and then, in most cases, is healthy. "One of the most important things we've seen in our research is that people benefit most from being direct. Beating around the bush, implying things, insinuating things, being sarcastic doesn't work," Jim McNulty, professor of psychology at Florida State University, told CNN. "When people avoid 'fighting,' they avoid talking," he added, and it seems Vergara and Manganiello may have been doing that from the start.