Majorly Strange Things About Kristi Noem's Marriage

All eyes have been on Kristi Noem's marriage to Bryon Noem amid her ever-evolving political career and rise to the role of secretary of homeland security. But, unfortunately, the attention on the couple (who married in 1992, before Kristi's face transformation) hasn't all been good, because they have several oddities it's hard to look past.

One of the strangest things is how little time Kristi and Bryon actually spend together. Kristi has been very open about how much her political career takes her away from her family and how tough she finds being apart from them. Speaking to Elysian about when she became a junior member of congress, she confirmed she would only return home to South Dakota from Washington D.C. on weekends. "The first month or two was incredibly lonely, something you could not have prepared for. You spend the majority of your time alone traveling back and forth," she said. "Very few people spend quality time with you. You leave your community at home and miss milestones like birthday parties and baby showers. Over time you lose contact with people close to you, which for me was challenging," she added.

But a serious lack of time together isn't the only unusual factor of their relationship. Their lengthy marriage has also been plagued by affair rumors and eyebrow-raising social media activity, as well as a slew of other peculiarities that could cause their unravelling. 

One of the strangest things about Kristi Noem and Bryon Noem's marriage is series of rumors about alleged affairs between Kristi and fellow married political figure, Corey Lewandowski. Daily Mail reported in April 2025 that Secretary of Homeland Security and Lewandowski live close to each another in Washington D.C. and spend a lot of time together, with a source claiming, "I've seen them together here ... It is an open secret that they are together." Another told the outlet, "There's no question the relationship is ongoing ... Very clearly, they're still having an extra-marital relationship." That followed an initial report from Daily Mail that purported a supposed affair began in 2019 or earlier. American Greatness also reported on their apparent romantic relationship in 2021, when an insider claimed, "There are members of congress close to Mar-a-Lago who have called the affair 'an open secret." Then, in 2023, The New York Post spoke to an onlooker who said they'd seen them kissing in 2021. "I remember it was so absurdly blatant and public," they said.

However, unlike the many celebs who have admitted to cheating on their partners, Noem has vehemently denied the allegations. "These old, tired attacks on conservative women are based on a falsehood that we can't achieve anything without a man's help," Kristi wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter, in 2021 (via People). "I love [my husband] Bryon. I'm proud of the God-fearing family we've raised together."

True or not though, the constant rumors are no green flag. As relationship coach Anthony Recenello told Glam, "For Kristi Noem and her husband, the challenge is twofold: navigating the emotional impact of these allegations and maintaining a sense of partnership amid intense public scrutiny."

Though everyone uses social media differently, it's hard to ignore how much Kristi Noem posts about her husband and how little he posts about her. Kristi hasn't appeared on Bryon Noem's Instagram grid since May 2024, when he shared a serious of sweet snaps to acknowledge their 32nd wedding anniversary. "Happy #32 to my favorite gal in the whole wide world! It's been a heckuva ride and I'm so glad to have been on it with you. I love you Dear! You bless me. Happy Anniversary," he wrote. However, he skipped publicly acknowledging their 33rd wedding anniversary in the same way and didn't celebrate her with a Mother's Day post either, despite doing so in years past.

Though Kristi equally didn't share a grid post to commemorate 33 years since they tied the knot, she has posted about her partner multiple times since his May 2024 upload. For example, in June 2025, she celebrated Bryon on Father's Day by sharing a snap of him on a horse alongside the caption, "This guy doesn't even like to ride horses ...but he does for me and to create memories for our grandkids ... Happy Father's Day Bryon!" It's certainly strange how on/off the two are with their gushing posts on social media, and if Kristi feels she's constantly acknowledging her partner publicly but not getting the same back, that could cause resentment on her part.

Though most married couples cohabitate, Kristi Noem and Bryon Noem don't live, or at least haven't always lived, together full-time. In 2020, while she was still governor of South Dakota, SDPB claimed Kristi lived in the governor's mansion during the week without her husband and returned home at the weekend to her and Bryon's farm. Kristi told Elsyian of the farm, "It is about a three-hour drive straight east. We go back and forth quite a bit and move around the state wherever we need to be for different meetings."

Their living situation since Kristi became secretary of homeland security in 2025 is unclear, but Daily Mail reported Kristi has a rental apartment in the capital and made no mention of Bryon living there too. If Bryon made the move with his wife to Washington D.C. though, his Instagram suggests he returns to his home state regularly. 

He also previously launched the This is South Dakota initiative, which aims to put the spotlight on small towns in the state, and wrote in his since deleted First Gentleman profile (via Hollywood Life), "It's easy to think the grass is always greener somewhere else, but when it comes down to it, I truly believe that the people of South Dakota are the most kind, genuine people you'll ever meet." He added, "...I want people outside to learn how great South Dakota is." That suggests Bryon may not be willing to permanently move his life to Washington D.C. to be with Kristi, which could cause problems in their marriage.

In 2019, Kristi Noem penned a sweet note to Bryon Noem for Father's Day, in which she admitted they don't have an equal division of labor at home. "At our house, Bryon completes many of our chores. I am gone a lot, and he is left to handle all things related to kids, ranch, and house," she wrote on The South Dakota government's website. "...I am blessed to have a husband who recognizes how wonderful it is for me to come back to a clean house and tended family, and he tries to make that happen," she added. Kristi also shared how hands-on Bryon was with their kids, stating, "My mom came to stay with us a few days after [their daughter, Kennedy] was born and after a few hours she came to me and said, 'I might as well go home. Bryon won't let me do anything.'"

Though the arrangement may work for the Noems, it's eyebrow raising that Bryon does almost all the domestic tasks alone (it could even be a sign their relationship is missing the crucial component of reciprocity). It indicates a relationship imbalance, and Bryon running the household almost singlehandedly, despite not being a single parent, could potentially lead to him feeling resentful or unfulfilled. 

"The chores involved with raising children and running a home can feel endless and boring, and many couples fall into an unfortunate mindset of becoming competitors rather than teammates," Elisabeth LaMotte, a therapist and the founder of the DC Counseling & Psychotherapy Center, told HuffPost. For couples in this situation, she suggested, "Try taking a psychological step back from the daily grind to join your partner's team so that you execute chores with an air of positivity rather than resentment."