Spread Dating Is Perfect For Go-Getters — Here's What To Know

Are you ready for a new dating method to add to your 2023 dating trends cheatsheet? Sure, you are! There's no end to dating trends and knowing what they are — whether you're out there dating or not — is a sign of keeping up with the times. Who doesn't want that? Let's discuss spread dating.

Similar to cuffing season, spread dating is a seasonal trend. In the fall and through the winter, people lock it down with one person to get them through the dark, cold days, then ultimately move on from them once things thaw and flowers start to bloom. On the flip side, spread dating isn't about cozying up with just one person, but packing in as many dates as possible either before or after cuffing season in order to find someone great for the long term, as opposed to just okay for the short term.

"It's a tactical approach to dating which involves proactive attempts to land several dates in a relatively short space of time, so daters have options to choose from when it comes to finding the 'best' partner," relationships expert Emma Hathorn told YahooLife. "It's fantastic for networking and can also be a lot of fun." If you're looking for something serious, you need to put in the work and try on lots of different types of people. That's exactly what spread dating is and if you're a go-getter, it might be perfect for you.

Although the immediate answer to this is because it gives you more opportunities, it's deeper than that. It's giving yourself the chance to have different interactions, romantic and sexual, so you can experience a whole slew of personalities, idiosyncrasies, imperfections, and more. "The idea is that by being able to compare your connection and experiences with others, you will be better equipped at choosing a partner who is right for you," relationships expert Emma Hathorn told YahooLife. 

Sometimes we think we know exactly what we want, but that's only because we haven't been introduced to new and more exciting things. It's easy to just assume you like this or that with a certain kind of person, but spread dating pushes the envelope on the tunnel vision that sometimes happens when you date. Breaking out of your dating comfort zone and giving people you'd usually ignore a chance, can up your chances at finding someone who's absolutely your match.

If you want to make spread dating part of your life, you'll want to consider your relationship goals. But instead of thinking that the only possible match for you is, say, a brain surgeon who owns a classic six on Central Park West, then you need to expand your scope. Ask yourself what you're really hoping to find in regard to values, ethics, and other factors that extend past someone whom you've decided is your type. Once you do this, you'll open yourself up to a whole boatload of other possibilities.

"Being able to date outside your type is quite freeing," certified sex and relationship coach Myisha Battle told Nylon. "It allows you to look at others holistically rather than as a series of ideal qualities and exposes you to a whole new perspective. It can also be really exciting to learn about other ways of living that aren't informed by our own value systems."

You also want to date a lot of people at once when spread dating. This could look like booking coffee dates back-to-back, or meeting someone for a drink, then meeting someone else for dinner. The point is to keep all your options open, taste as many personality flavors that you can, then deduce who you can scratch out and who gets a follow-up date.

As much as spread dating has its benefits, that doesn't mean it's for everyone. For example, if you're the romantic sort, dating this way may be tricky because you could possibly find yourself falling for too many people at once. Or you may find yourself smitten with one person, but you continue to date others because that's what spread dating is. Neither case is good or beneficial to you.

"People with that disposition might find the prospect of juggling multiple partners stressful, and it might not be in line with their personal ethics," relationships expert Emma Hathorn told YahooLife. "It's all about the individual's head space and approach to life."

If you think, or rather know that you can date without emotions, share your time with multiple individuals, and be honest with yourself about your needs and wants, spread dating might be the trend your life has been missing. It's just important to make it clear to the people you're seeing that you're dating more than one person at the moment, so everyone is on the same page and all expectations are realistic. As much as spread dating is about your finding the best person for you, no one else should have their feelings hurt due to misunderstandings along your journey to find the one.