Alphabet Dating Is The Viral Trend Perfect For Spicing Up Your Boring Date Nights

You may already be familiar with advice like dating outside your type, but if you really want to have some fun with a potential partner (or an existing one), listen up. The latest trend, alphabet dating, challenges people to get creative with how they spend time together. Rather than use your imagination to come up with an itinerary, alphabet dating follows one simple rule: choose each letter of the alphabet to decided the location or activity for your dates. For example, the letter 'A' may encourage you to go to the aquarium, arcade, amusement park, or any other fun place that starts with the letter. Pretty simple, right?


According to therapist Claudia de Llano, "We get into these ruts in our relationships where you initially do lots of fun and exciting things and then you settle into a routine," she explained to Well+Good. "When we do that we begin to disconnect from each other, and that's difficult because that's how bonds begin to rupture."

With alphabet dating — more commonly known as ABC dating — we are forced out of these relationship ruts and encouraged to be innovative in our dating lives. It also inherently keeps us from recycling the same places, activities, and itineraries. We'll dive more into how ABC dating works, what to consider, and the pros and cons of using a new dating trend.

How ABC dating works

While there's no set rules for how to go about alphabet, most people who swear by the trend spend a week's worth of time on each letter. The first week starts with A, then B, then C, and so on so forth until you've conquered several months. As sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino explained, "Having the alphabet be the source of inspiration for different date ideas is quite easy and clever, and can add something more interesting to what could otherwise be monotonous," she explained to Well+Good. There's something about ABC dating that challenges the monotony of a typical relationship.


Over time, you'll gradually work your way through the alphabet, which will require creativity to keep the sparks alive (We're already wondering about 'Q' week!). If you're already in a relationship rut or just curious to see how the trend can unfold, introduce the idea of ABC dating to your partner and see if they're willing to give it a try.

Tips for planning dates

To get started, make sure that both partners are involved in the planning process, even if it's just sharing ideas. If you're more open to collaboration, you can plan dates with your partner and allow them to have a say on building the actual itinerary. If your relationship is on the rocks, the exercise could potentially foster a collaborative dynamic that could be beneficial for both of you. As Dr. Carbino explained, "If one person is doing it, it would somewhat defeat the purpose of it, and both partners should be involved in the process if it is being used as a fun and collaborative tool."


Per Metro News, long-term relationships are not as simple as an exercise. However, date nights are essential to keep the spark alive, and setting an intention to do something new every week will help keep things alive and well. In addition, make sure you're ABC dating with new places, rather than using spots you've already visited as an excuse to complete the exercise. You'll find new inspiration for date night spots through research, networking, and outsourcing. Lastly, make sure you treat each date with the same intimate and celebratory attitude you'd treat a typical date night — after all, that's what this is for.

Pros and cons of ABC dating

ABC dating is a great exercise to enhance or improve a relationship, but that doesn't mean you should use it to sweep other issues under the rug. Believe it or not, the trend first came about during the COVID-19 crisis, when couples were living together in close quarters and growing tired of the same-old routine every day. According to relationship coach Sarah Louise Ryan, the trend gained popularity among couples who didn't have many other options. "I highly advocated for it during lockdown for couples who were quarantined alone or struggling to find excitement when they saw each other all day every day," she explained to Stylist.


"This system helped those couples think outside of the box and create an air of excitement in times of uncertainty and when libido was subsiding due to the stress of it all." While that's all well and good, it is also an incredible and effective option for couples that are still stuck in the mental box of confinement and disagreement. It can also ignite excitement when it feels as if the relationship spark has burnt out, and that will ultimately help you decide whether the relationship is headed in the right direction or not. While we can't necessarily control how we feel, ABC dating can help guide us through the highs and lows of relationships.