Dream Expert Tells Us What It Means When You Have A Sex Dream About A Co-Worker
Dreams have boggled human beings since infancy. Even thousands of years after our ancestors roamed the planet, scientists are still trying to figure out exactly why we dream and their importance in our waking lives. However, they do have their assumptions, based on research.
"Dreams are thoughts, images, sensations, and sometimes sounds that occur during sleep," licensed clinical social worker Alan Kuras told CNET. "They appear to assist in memory formation, integration, problem-solving and consolidation of ideas both about ourselves and the world." Kuras added that those who study the brain have also found that dreams help us process information learned throughout the day. After all, information often comes at us like rapid fire, so our brain breaks it down so we can understand it, and that comprehension is expressed through dreams.
It's with this in mind that we can deduce why we dream about certain people or topics. For example, dreaming about being BFF with a celebrity is fairly common, but it says far more about us than the celebrity in question. Having a sex dream about a co-worker is another common direction in which our brain might go at night, but does it really mean we want to have sex with them IRL? To get to the bottom of this, Women exclusively talked to dream expert and author Lauri Loewenberg about what it means — if anything — if you keep finding yourself in bed with your co-worker every time you go to sleep.
You could be attracted to your co-worker
We can't control who we're attracted to — that's just a fact. As frustrating and annoying as it might be, this is something that, for the most part, is out of our hands. "You may be able to reduce how much you focus on or think about the object of your desire," sex expert Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D. told Elite Daily. "But you cannot fully suppress your body's natural desires." That being said, it should come as no surprise that this co-worker is going to pop up in your dreams in a sexual capacity.
"If there is an existing attraction to the co-worker then, as they say, a cigar is just a cigar and it is the way your subconscious is allowing you to safely explore the possibility," Loewenberg exclusively told Women. But if this attraction is something you don't want, and these dreams are more unwelcome, you need to understand that it's really not that big of a deal. "In these cases, it is important to keep in mind that dreams are primarily symbolic and that sex dreams are rarely about a physical union you want but more about a psychological union you need or that you have recently had," explained Loewenberg.
Your co-worker could represent something you want
Because dreams are our subconscious working hard to process and make sense of things, when you dream about sex with a co-worker it could simply mean they have something that you wish you had. Not anything tangible, per se, but regarding their personality "or behavior that your subconscious 'desires' and wants you to connect with and merge into yourself," said Loewenberg.
"For example, perhaps the co-worker you are dreaming of is the one that cracks all the jokes in the office. In that case, they may simply represent humor, the ability to lighten the mood by making others laugh, and THAT is what your subconscious wants you to merge into your own behavior or attitude," explained Loewenberg.
What this means is taking time in your waking life to figure out what it is about your co-worker that intrigues you and what they have that you wish you too had. In doing so, it will help you unravel why they keep crawling into your nighttime subconscious and, ideally, you'll learn to harness the personality trait they have that you envy. Let's be honest: everyone, deep down, wants to be the funny co-worker.
You feel a connection to your co-worker
Another possibility for having a sex dream about a co-worker is because you have a bond with them, either professionally or personally. "Perhaps you had a conversation where you both had a meaningful agreement or discovered a likemindedness," Loewenberg exclusively told Women. "Or perhaps you need to connect for a work project." People come in and out of our lives all the time and some we feel a deeper connection to than others, so it's only natural that when we feel connected in our waking life, that in our dreams we might cozy up to them and things get sexual.
But just like the other scenarios, this in no way means you want to jump into bed with your co-worker. Instead, you feel a sort of safety with them, especially if you're working on a project that you both need to give your all to. After all, that is ultimately two becoming one, in a way that can be suggestive enough to your brain to evoke a sex dream.
Understand your dreams are representative and not necessarily fact
It's essential to understand what your dreams are trying to tell you. "As with all dreams, your sex dreams are important because they are helping you improve yourself by showing you what will benefit you right now in your life," said Loewenberg. "Don't dismiss it as just a dream, no matter how embarrassing it may be for you, because it does have a helpful meaning ... Remind yourself that the dream does not reflect reality, but is instead a symbolic message about yourself."
Loewenberg suggested a formula when trying to figure out the root of sex dreams about co-workers, so you can put any confusion and assumptions to bed. "Ask yourself what three words best describe your co-worker," advised Loewenberg. "Where does your mind go when you think of that person? Not just his or her looks, but also [their] personality. Now ask yourself if any of those qualifiers would benefit you in your life right now if you incorporated it into your behavior."
You're bound to come up with something and when you do, you may pinpoint more than a few reasons that explain all the sex dreams you've been having. "Look at it as a puzzle where you need to put the pieces together, a riddle you need to solve," added Loewenberg. "And know that once you piece it together, once you solve it, you will have some solid advice from your subconscious that will only benefit you."