How To Handle Toxic People. Step One: Open Your Eyes.

["family", "Toxic", "stress"]
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How to identify them, and tips for dealing with them.

Toxic people: we've all got a few of 'em in our lives. Naturally, it’s generally best to avoid getting close to these people, if possible. However, sometimes if it's a co-worker or a family member, that's easier said than done. Some toxic people are just impossible to avoid.

Fear not however, for below we’ll take a look at a few great ways to arm yourself against the toxic people in your life and their crazy-making tendencies.

1. Know How To Identify Them

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We all have times in our life when we can be a little needy or indulge in momentary self-pity, but the toxic person takes things to a whole new level. These are the folks that drama seems to follow wherever they go, though they constantly have endless excuses to explain why nothing is ever their fault.

Here are a few dead give aways of toxic people:

  • They generally love to control or manipulate other people.

  • They are constantly in the need of pity, though they never seem to actually take advice to fix the problems they’re always complaining about.

  • Conversations with these people usually end up always being all about them.

  • They tend to be incredibly critical of others.

  • They have a way of spinning every argument they drag you into in order to make you feel entirely at fault, no matter how ridiculous their own behavior may have been.

2. Offer Advice But Not Pity

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Toxic people are constantly unloading their problems on others - but they often hate taking responsibility and determining a rational course of action. When dealing with them, offer a solution and then insist that they act on it before they can do any more complaining. This way, they will either be forced to take your suggest, or at least find someone else to listen to their incessant complaining.

3. Understand That You Cannot Do Someone Else’s Work For Them

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No matter how much injustice a toxic person is able to convince you that they’ve suffered, know that at the end of the day, the situations they’ve found themselves in are up to them to fix. It is not your job to save them.

4. Beware Seeking Their Approval

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Often, toxic people start off as very charming and impressive. As time goes on, however, you will eventually realize that the whole relationship has become entirely about them. Sure, they may give you just enough attention to keep you around, but sticking it out in an attempt to gain their respect or appreciation is not a trap worth falling into. No situation is worth trading your emotional well-being or self-respect for.

5. STOP Fighting With Them

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Conflict makes toxic people feel important and noticed; It may be the only way they know how to connect at all. Thus, they are likely to be dramatic and irrational. There is very little point in fighting with someone who defies logic, so avoid arguments with them at all costs.

6. Know Your Personal Strengths And Weaknesses

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Toxic people are often masters of downplaying your strengths and exaggerating your weaknesses. They want to keep you emotionally dependent on them for validation. In order to beat them at their own game, become extremely aware of your strengths and weaknesses. If you can own up to them yourself, you take the power away from them.

7. Know That It Actually Isn’t You, It’s Them

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Understand that toxic people are often speaking and acting out of their own insecurities, and frequently it has very little to do with you. Try to go into every encounter feeling strong and confident, and remember that they are usually acting out because of their own issues.

8. Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You Up

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When the toxic person in your life is trying to bring you down, it will be invaluable to have other support systems in your life to lean on. Make a list of the people who truly know who you are, and admire and respect you. They will remind you of how great you truly are.

9. Realize You Don’t Owe An Explanation

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The toxic person in your life is going to find many ways to manipulate you: do not fall for it. Although it may feel like helping them is the right thing to do, by neglecting your own needs and mental health you are only adding more problems to the world. Do not be afraid to say no and leave it at that.

10. Know That Forgiving Isn’t The Same As Forgetting

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There might come a time in your life where you need to forgive the toxic person in your life. However, that does not mean you should forget the way they've treated you. Let go of the negativity, but remember that they are not adding to your life in a positive way. Forgive, but do not forget. Accept it, and move on.


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