Man and woman couple laughing together
Stop Questioning The Validity Of Straight-Passing Relationships
A straight-passing relationship appears heteroromantic, but one or both partners identify as bisexual or queer. For some, it's led to myths that need to be debunked.
For our purposes here, we’re specifically looking at relationships between bisexual women and straight men. In these relationships, lots can be at stake for the queer individual.
A common misconception about straight-passing relationships is that the bisexual partner is closeted and hasn't come out to their family and friends as queer.
For the queer person, this implies the relationship hinges on dishonesty and fear of self-expression. For the other, it implies they’re being used to hide their partner’s identity.
Bisexual people in straight-passing relationships can be faced with the unfair task of "proving" that they’re really bi. This skepticism can come from straight and gay communities.
This puts the individual in a liminal space where they’re not fully recognized by either community, allowing others to incorrectly assume they have the "privilege" of straightness.
"It makes it sound as if we’re somehow ashamed of our bi-ness and trying to run and hide from it. That couldn’t be farther from the truth," Brittney White wrote on
A common worry is that the person will be rejected by their queer community for not being "queer enough," which can be highly isolating and confounding for queer individuals.
Bisexual women face struggle and stigma, quite often from potential suitors. Biphobia exists, particularly by those who don’t validate bisexuality as a real sexual orientation.
Per a CDC study, bisexual women have the highest risk of experiencing sexual assault, stalking, and violence from intimate partners compared to lesbian and straight women.
It's not an easier life, nor a privileged one, and bisexual women need to feel supported and heard by the queer and straight communities alike, regardless of relationship status.