A sad-looking woman looking out the window
Benching Is The Latest Toxic Dating Trend To Avoid At All Costs
Content producer Steph Koyfman told Harper's Bazaar that “benching someone is essentially like benching a football player. They're not your first choice."
She adds, "They're not your first (or maybe even second) choice, but you still want to keep them around as a backup option, so you give them just enough to keep them interested."
Benching is a selfish behavior that might even be worse than ghosting because it involves deceit and manipulation. The bencher gives themself all the power.
The person being benched has no say in the matter, and may not even be aware of what's happening. Everything is on the bencher's terms.
Dr. Ryan Warner, Ph.D. told Elite Daily "if they are never available, don't introduce you to any of their friends or family, and avoid making plans with you," you're being benched.
If you're being benched, push back and protect yourself. If you don't communicate this to the bencher, you allow yourself to continue to be manipulated.
In some cases, people inadvertently bench due to their own issues. However, a decent person who respects others will likely cease their ways when they see what they're doing.