21 Uncle Buck Quotes to Celebrate the 30th Anniversary

via Universal Pictures

"He's crude. He's crass. He's family."

21 Uncle Buck Quotes That'll Make You Miss John Candy Even More

Who doesn't love Uncle Buck?!

With the 30th anniversary of the John Hughes classic comedy, Uncle Buck quickly approaching we thought it was only appropriate to round up some of the best quotes from the beloved movie. Starring John Candy and Macaulay Culkin the 80s hit became a cult classic instantly. The movie is a favorite in our household so suffice it to say some of the Uncle Buck quotes are near and dear to my heart.

Uncle Buck Movie Quotes

  • " Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum." - Buck

  • "My uncle was microwaving our socks and the dog threw up on the couch for an hour." - Maizy

  • "I'm a kid that's my job." - Mike

  • "Well, well, well, they certainly are scraping the bottom of the barrel for cheerleaders these days." - Buck

  • "Look, I think you'd better split. I don't exactly want him to go berserk with an ax on me." - Bug

  • "Get in your mouse, and get out of here." - Buck

  • "You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet." - Buck

Uncle Buck Quotes

  • "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! OK, ASSHOLE! I'M SORRY!" - Bug

  • "You have much more hair in your nose than my dad." - Mike

  • "Art Linkletter was right. Kids do say the God damndest things." - Buck

  • "Hey, Mom. Next time you take off in the middle of the night, why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house?" - Tia

  • "Who are you?" - Mike

  • "I'm your uncle?" - Buck

  • "If you think this is big, wait until you see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door." - Buck

  • "Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum." - Buck

John Candy Uncle Buck Quotes

  • "Oh boy, those kids. I haven't seen those kids in a while. Tia's gotta be nine. Nine, maybe ten. Oh boy. And the two new ones. They're uh... Larry and... uh... Larry and, uh... Uh... Betsy. Betsy, uh... Jennifer. Jennifer. Larry and Jennifer. Nice kids."

  • "When I was his age, I was a guy zooming girls like you. Pretty face, good chip on your shoulder."

  • "Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up, say, for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home, then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why, I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat, are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoaaa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Hehe hehe."

  • "Here it is, come on over I wanna show it to ya. Maybe later? Okay."

  • "Hey, Bobby we should really get together sometime. I haven't been over at the new house since you moved. By the way, I want to apologize for last year at your old house... about those bushes. I had no idea they all would catch on fire like that. You were right. I should never have put the barbeque grill that close."

  • "Here's a quarter buy a rat chew that thing off your face!"

Let's Keep the Conversation Going...

What's your favorite Uncle Buck quote? We want to know!

Tweet us @womendotcom or follow us on Facebook and Instagram!