28 Steve Martin Quotes That Prove What A Gem He Truly Is

Steve Martin smiling in a scene from It's Complicated
Universal Pictures

He's anything BUT The Jerk...

You'll Love These 28 Steve Martin Quotes Almost As Much As You Love Him!

If you need something to get you through the day, make it Steve Martin quotes!

The funnyman has starred in some of your favorite movies from Roxane to Father of the Bride and along the way he's dropped some amazing quotes. Heartfelt and hilarious, you'll find that they will help you build character amongst other things. So take a look at some great Steve Martin quotes and live your life like Steve Martin. Then watch your favorite Steve Martin movie!

Steve Martin Quotes

  • "You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."

  • "Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is."

  • "Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled."

  • "Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!"

  • "What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke."

  • "I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period."

  • "It's a mystery to me the way that contemporary art galleries function."

  • "Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."

Steve Martin Funny Quotes

  • "I got a flu shot and now my chimney works perfectly."

  • "Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

  • " I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal high enough so you can look up her dress."

  • "You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, "This is art, and you can't do it."

  • "First, the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me."

  • "I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."

  • "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

  • "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

  • "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

  • "I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tongue?"

The Best Steve Martin Quotes

  • "It's pain that changes our lives."

  • "Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent."

  • "Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

  • I believe entertainment can aspire to be an art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art, you're an idiot."

  • "Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties."

  • "...you're nuts but you're welcome here."

  • "Be so good they can't ignore you."

  • "We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday."

  • "I've heard a lot of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone."

  • "The operation was a success but I'm afraid the doctor is dead."

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