34 Judge Judy Quotes That Are Prove Honesty is the Best Policy

Judge Judy in her robe, with an American flag behind her at her bench
via CBS

Grab your gavel.

Send These Judge Judy Quotes to Your Haters and Watch Them Go Up in Flames

Judge Judy has provided us with entertaining television for years and years. She lays down the law like no one else can.

Her no-nonsense attitude and directness is refreshing and often times, very funny. She's a very powerful presence both on and off the screen and we found the Judge Judy quotes that prove just that. So please rise for the honorable Judge Judy. Memorize some of the best Judge Judy burns to share with your haters next time you need it.

Judge Judy Quotes

  • "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig."

  • "If it doesn't make sense, it's not true."

  • "I'm the boss, Applesauce."

  • "Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig."

  • "If you're going to spend your time, spend your time getting smarter."

  • "I eat liars for breakfast."

  • "Little things happen to us during the course of our lives when we were children that stay with us."

  • "I can't stand stupid, and I can't stand slow."

  • "Remember, a Trojan is more than a horse."

  • "Little things happen to us during the course of our lives when we were children that stay with us."

  • "The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now."

  • "Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents."

  • "I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress."

  • "It's your life; live it well."

Best Judge Judy Quotes

  • "I mean, did you think I was just a fake person here, that they picked out of, you know, that they picked out of a supermarket? Didn't you think that I had any legal experience at all, sir?"

  • "Consider yourself having been reasonably humiliated in front of ten million people. Now, without saying another word, turn around, and find the exit. Goodbye."

  • "You pulled out a gun, and you shot the gun over flowers! Are you a moron?!! You should be hiding under a rock, not acting as plaintiff in a lawsuit?!"

  • "I eat morons like you for breakfast. You're gonna be crying before this is over."

  • "If you live to be a hundred, you will never be as smart as me. On your BEST day, you're not as smart as I am on my WORST day."

  • "I love the truth. If you don't tell me the truth, you're gonna be eating your shoes."

  • "Listen to me very carefully, sir. I don't want you to give me the dumb routine. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you're dumb, I'll know you're dumb. If you give me the dumb routine, I know it's a dumb routine."

  • "I'm not 25, and I'm not 5'8". But I know when someone is pulling my leg."

  • "You don't teach morals and ethics and empathy and kindness in the schools. You teach that at home, and children learn by example."

  • "I don't have two different personalities. I am what I am."

Savage Judge Judy Quotes

  • "I'd like 100 million people to know how stupid you are. That's my joy in life."

  • "Um is not an answer."

  • "Dumb ideas come from people who have dumb brains."

  • "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

  • "Beauty fades. Dumb is forever."

  • "Have you ever heard of the K.I.S.S. principle? 'Keep It Simple, Stupid."

  • "You gotta learn to behave yourself, madam. I have a feeling you have a pretty hot temper - not as hot as mine."

  • "Let me explain something to you, fresh mouth, I'm the only one who makes jokes."

  • "You're irritating me. It's not a good thing to start off by irritating the person who's supposed to decide your case."

  • "Let me tell you something. This is my playpen, and I get the last word."

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