26 Howard Stern Quotes That Are Almost As Iconic As the Man Himself

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Sirius-ly funny.

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Fans of Howard Stern are loud and proud.

If you know someone who listens to his Sirius radio show, you know that they likely adore the comedian. He's been on the air for a nice long time, and rightfully so. He asks hard-hitting, intrusive questions, making celebrity guests ready to spill the tea. He's funny, he's weird, and he certainly has said quite a lot of things in his long career.

His sense of humor certainly appeases to fans of comedy and aren't for the faint of heart. So if you're one of those people that love him enjoy some of the best Howard Stern quotes he's ever said, on his show, or otherwise.

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Howard Stern Quotes

  • "Talent is what drives this world. Doesn’t matter how many satellites you fucking stick in the air."

  • "You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career."

  • "I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated."

  • "I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock."

  • "Courage is standing up for what you believe in. There are so many people who aren't willing to stand up. You've got to fight."

  • "I'm in a war, a cultural war."

  • "I love America. I love our freedom. And nowhere could a guy like me, a schlub like me have success with -- where would I get this freedom of speech? They don't allow this anywhere."

  • "What's wrong with being naked? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I pay my taxes. I'm a good man. I'm a good father - try to be, anyway. I try to do the right things in life."

  • "I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting."

Funny Howard Stern Quotes

  • "I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised."

  • "I’m pretty sure if you know what candy crush is you’re a loser."

  • "Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny."

  • "I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do."

  • "I think people of lesser talent will become stars."

  • "It's no treat being in bed with me."

  • "I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful."

  • "Janet Jackson's breast has gotten me into a whole bunch of trouble."

  • "I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe."

  • "Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."

  • "What a crazy idea to put me on a family show!"

The Best Howard Stern Quotes

  • "My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing."

  • "Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God."

  • "I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys."

  • "I believe in censorship when it benefits me."

  • "Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?"

  • "I'm the voice of honesty."

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