18 Funny Quotes About Marriage That Will Make Your Spouse Laugh
18 Funny Quotes About Marriage That Poke Fun at the Institution
If you know, you know.
Marriage is full of ups and downs and if you're lucky enough, they tend to be funny. The dynamics between a couple may change over time but these funny quotes about marriage prove there's humor in matrimony.
If you've been married for forty years or are newly engaged, you'll laugh at these humorous quotes about marriage. You might even utter, "it's funny...cause...it's true!". If you've landed the right partner, they might even laugh along with you too.
So sit back, relax and try not to get into trouble when you laugh out loud thanks to these funny quotes about marriage.
Funny Quotes About Marriage
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband." - Unknown
"Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and a woman gets her masters degree." - Unknown
"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." - Mae West
"Happy wife, happy life." - Teresa Guidice
"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving up, whenever you're wrong admit it; whenever you're right; shut up." - Ogden Nash
"Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side." - Zig Ziglar
Celebrity Quotes About Marriage
"Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell
"My wife had us register for fine china, because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate." - Jim Gaffigan
"Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time." - Chris Rock
"All my friends are getting married. I guess I'm just at that age where people give up." - Amy Schumer
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” - Albert Einstein
"Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” - Marilyn Monroe
Hilarious Quotes About Marriage
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go with a car battery". - Emma Bombeck
"Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who forgets them". - Anonymous
"I love being married, it's so great to find on special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life". - Rita Runder
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." - Prince Phillip
"My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way." - Henry Youngman
-"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there." - George Burns