22 Hilariously Enjoyable Drop Dead Gorgeous Quotes

via New Line Cinema

Diane Sawyer would be proud.

22 Drop Dead Gorgeous Quotes That'll Force You to Rewatch the Cult Classic

Get your pageant walk ready, Drop Dead Gorgeous quotes. Originally panned by critics, Drop Dead Gorgeous became a cult classic instantly. Now that the movie is available on Hulu, we've decided to gather all of our favorite quotes! The comedy came out in 1999 so while a lot of jokes haven't aged well, the mockumentary following a small town beauty pageant gone wrong is still very entertaining. If you love this movie you will certainly enjoy recounting some of the best quotes from Drop Dead Gorgeous.

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Drop Dead Gorgeous Quotes

  • "Oh no, my mom never kept a secret of the fact my dad chose his career over us. What was it she used to say? Once a carnie, always a carnie. Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top." - Amber

  • "Hello Father Donnagan, sidewalks? sidewalks? Iris, stop it, it's not his fault. The communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them." - Gladys

  • "I'd have good strong roots in a town like Mt. Rose, a solid Christian trunk, and long, leafy branches to provide shade for handicapped kids on a hot summer day." - Becky Ann

  • "I can sum up our entire philosophy with this glass. I can look at it and say it's half-full, which in the beauty pageant biz means "where the hell's my waiter?". - Colleen

  • "I don't eat shellfish. Mom always says, "don't ever eat nothin' that can carry its house around with it. Who knows the last time it's been cleaned." - Amber

  • "I am reaching the point where I would kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails." - Annette

Drop Dead Gorgeous Movie Quotes

  • "Mom gave me this 9mil for my birthday, I'll always remember what she wrote in the card. "Jesus loves winners". That's why, no matter what I do, I aim to win." - Becky Ann

  • "Oh no, she's just screaming "Mom, Mom" 'cause she's got Tourettes. She's Annette's kid, dipshit." - Loretta

  • "A rich family in a small town, it makes the papers when one of them takes a shit!" - Loretta

  • "Yah, my ma's clothes all melted onto mine forming, like, this big polyester meteor in our closet, y'know? But, in some kinda weird miracle, our neighbor boy, Kenny Johanson, found my tap costume on the roof o' their trailer while he was settin' coon traps for his dad. Here's the weird part: it was still on the hanger." - Amber

  • "And so, dear Lord, it is with deep sadness that we turn over to you this young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death. Maybe it is your way of telling us... to buy American." - Priest

  • "Once a carnie, always a carnie." - Loretta

  • "If they ask you to take your top off. get the money first." - Annette

Quotes from Drop Dead Gorgeous

  • "Do you think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?" - Loretta

  • "Hi. I'm Amber Atkins, and I am signing up 'cause two of my favorite persons in the world competed in pageants: my mom and Diane Sawyer. Of course, I want to end up more like Diane Sawyer than my mom." - Amber

  • "That's why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ.' - Iris

  • "If you're 18, and you're not a total fry... it's just whatchya do." - Lisa

  • "Hey hey, Miss Penthouse '98, close those legs, I could drive a boat show in there." - Gladys

  • "This pageant is like a roach motel, girls check in but they don't check out." - Fry girl

  • "I kinda misunderstood the assignment." - Jenelle

  • "Oh no, my mom never kept a secret of the fact my dad chose his career over us. What was it she used to say? Once a carnie, always a carnie. Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top." - Amber

  • "I chose Mount Rushmore, 'cause to live in a country where you can take an ugly old mountain and put faces on it, faces of great Americans who did so much to make our country super great, well that makes me, Rebecca Leeman, proud to be an American." - Becca

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