Use These Ace Ventura Quotes And You'll Have Everyone In Stitches

Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura Pet Detective wearing a colorful shirt smiling
via Warner Bros.

The one and only, Jim Carrey.

28 Ace Ventura Quotes That'll Have You Proclaiming, 'Alrighty Then!'

It's been a minute since I've watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective but I remember loving it so much.

Jim Carrey was born for the role and these Ace Ventura quotes prove just that. Take a look at some of the funniest lines from the ridiculous comedy. If you haven't seen it in a while, we bet these Ace Ventura quotes will inspire you to rewatch the beloved movie.

Watch Ace Ventura: Pet Detective here on Amazon.

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Ace Ventura Quotes

  • "All righty then!"

  • "Yes, Satan?"

  • "Lovely party. Pity I wasn't invited."

  • "My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!"

  • "That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo-ser-her."

  • "I'm in Pyschoville and Finkle's the Mayor."

  • "Once you get inside my head, there's no turning back baby."

  • "Holy shitballs."

  • "Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear."

Best Ace Ventura Quotes

  • "That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."

  • "Holy testicle Tuesday."

  • "Be careful with that phone, lieutenant. In time, you could develop a tumor."

  • "I just can't do it captain, I DON'T HAVE THE POWER!"

  • "Yeah? And you're ugly."

  • "I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers."

  • "But I’m sure you already knew that. That’s what turns me on about you. Your attention to detail."

  • "Do not go in there!"

  • "I don’t know. I get hit in the head a lot."

  • "Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK, and became insanely jealous."

Funny Ace Ventura Quotes

  • "Aye, Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard, sir!"

  • "If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer."

  • "Excuse me. I'd like to "ass" you a few questions."

  • "So.. animals CAN sense evil!"

  • "See that you do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed."

  • "Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle...and a clean pair of shorts."

  • "Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then."

  • "Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have."

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