1. The "shirt-tap, pant-slap" move before leaving the house:
Also known as the male version of the macarena
2. ALWAYS asking you for timing advice when they put something in the microwave...
Head of Operations by day, stumped by microwave by night.
2. He can sit in the same place and not talk or move... for like an abnormally LONG time
I think he's reached enlightenment... That or a lobotomy.
3. Keeping large amounts of change around his bedroom.
Usually not even in a container, just scattered around like wedding rice
4. "THE CONDIMENT SLAM": Why use a gravity assist when you can just slam a bottle against the counter like a monkey.
ARE WE FIVE??
6. Making extremely weird faces while playing video games
Like, should I be concerned?
7. Grimacing while he struggles to pull his wallet from his back pocket after sitting down on it.... AGAIN.
*8. Oh, that awkward sideways crab walk ... *
Psst.... they're just trying to unstick their balls from their thigh.
9. When hugging another man, clapping them on the back twice.
YOU KNOW THEY ALL DO IT
10. Taking SO LONG to poop. Really, what's going on in there? Did you fall in? Is this a Narnia situation???
AND, they use a whole roll. HOW?!
11. Not washing his bed sheets for like, I don't even know ... months... YEARS?
And they dgaf either!!
12. Bonding with other guys by hating each other's interests.
13. When you ask him a question and he can't decide whether he should answer with a lie, he'll say "what?" to buy more time.
Don't "What" me with your lies, Jim!
BUT ... We love you guys anyway.
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