17 Things That Scream You're From The Ozarks!
"In the spirit of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s famous “you might be a redneck” series, this goes out to the great citizens of the Ozarks." - Doug Davidson, The Houston Herald
#1. If you’ve ever used your windshield wipers when it wasn’t raining.
Because moisture from humidity is making it hard to see.
You definitely might be from the Ozarks!
#2. If you’ve ever started your day wearing a winter jacket...
only to finish it in shorts and a T-shirt (or vice-versa)
Yeah! .... you might be from the Ozarks!
#3. If you own five guns that use four different calibers of ammunition,
and have only fired two of them in the past three years, you might be from the Ozarks.
#4 If your two favorite beers are a craft brew nobody knows and Bud Light.
#5. If you’ve never been to the ocean, but visit the lake.
#6. If you rarely say the word “river” without also saying “float."
#7. If you have three horses you call “pasture pets”
And you haven’t been horseback riding in five years, you might be from the Ozarks
#8. If your driveway is hard labor once a year because of water damage.
#9. If you like reciting lines from the movie “The Outlaw Josie Wales."
and you make sure to watch it at least once a year, you might be from the Ozarks.
#10. If you’ve ever eaten at a restaurant where they throw rolls at you
OR serve “fresh water catfish.”
#11. If you know what a goggle-eye is.
#12. If you enjoy going gigging in freezing cold winter weather.
#13. If you have paid to see a demolition derby,
But you would never pay to attend a figure skating competition or opera, you might be from the Ozarks!
#14. If you regularly use an analog radio AND a smart phone.
#15. If you know someone who has had a deer in their house.
#16. If you’ve ever plucked a tick from your arm while watching TV.
#17. If you live in one of the best places in the world ....
That also has super nice people and more natural beauty than just about anywhere else in the world..... then you might be from the Ozarks.