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30 Things You Can Say to Both Your Toddler and Your Drunk Friend

["crying", "drunk", "baby", "girl", "family"]
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"You can’t nap here. You need to go to your bed."

1. Where did you go!? I told you to stay right here.

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2. Why are you walking like that? Do you need to pee?

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3. Please don't hit. Hitting is bad.

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4. I will help if you ask me nicely.

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5. I can't carry you everywhere! You're going to have to walk.

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6. Please stop asking if we are there yet. I'll tell you when we get there.

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7. Let's try to leave our shirt on.

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8. If I have to ask you to sit down ONE MORE TIME.

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9. I know I said you could have one more, but it’s too late now.

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10. We don't eat food from strangers.

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11. No, I won't give any more money.

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12. Hold my hand as we cross the street, ok?

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13. Try not to drool on your shirt.

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14. Look at the mess you made!

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15. It's very rude to point.

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16. You don't need to touch everything.

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17. Can you use your "inside" voice please?

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18. It’s not good to touch our private parts in public.

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19. Stop looking at me like that.

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20. We aren’t leaving until you eat all your food.

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21. Yes, those are boobies, but we don’t touch them.

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22. I know, "boobies" is a funny word.

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23. It’s not polite to stare.

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24. I don’t think you should put that in your mouth.

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25. Let’s try to keep all our clothes on in public.

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26. I am not playing that song again. We heard it 15 times.

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27. Keep your fingers out of your nose.

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28. Chew with your mouth closed, please.

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29. Don’t pee in the street!

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30. You can’t nap here. You need to go to your bed.

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We all have to deal with a toddler/ adult drunk sometimes!


SHARE with someone that has to deal with a little drunk kid every day.

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