10 Reasons Why America Should Build a Wall
Who needs new friends anyway?
1. So Americans can finally get the bottom-of-the-barrel jobs they've always wanted
2. To give street artists a HUGE canvas to work with
I'm sure Trump would see all the beauty that his wall would bring.
3. Because wall-builders want to listen to the Frozen soundtrack, too
"It doesn't have to be a wall...."
4. Because we can save money by building the women's wall 22% shorter than the men's wall
To reflect the wage gap.
5. Because Americans hate making new friends
You tell 'em, Pauly D!
6. So we can finally be 100% sure that El Chupacabra won't eat our animals
Now all we have to do is worry about getting Big Foot back to Canada...
7. Because Americans know that there are plenty of other reasons for salt and lime...
And Ross can finally be okay with admitting that he's definitely not fine.
8. Because we already know how to make tacos
"Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made at the Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!"
9. And anyway, if it's not a wall, it can be a white picket fence since that's what America is all about
Where's Gatsby and his green light?
Let's make America great again.