The 14 Emotional Stages Of Shopping For Jeans
It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Buying jeans is one of the most frustrating processes in existence. Don't worry, everybody feels it that way. You try so hard to find the right pair and, when you do, make sure you never let them go.
1. Realizing Your Trusty Pair Has Let You Down
You've worn the same pair three days a week for months. But then, the holes start to form. Next thing you know, you're basically wearing chaps.
2. So You Head To Your Old Faithful
Wherever you buy your jeans— you go back. You go back to find the exact same pair of jeans they worked for you before.
3. But They're Not There
The style has changed. Or the wash. Or the fabric. You panic as you realize nothing about them is exactly the same as you wanted.
4. So You Find The Closest Match
But they're not close at all. Not even a little.
5. You Just Grab Everything, In Hope
Mom jeans? Sure. Extra skinny high waisted jeggings with diamante? I guess that's a thing now. You just go for it. It all works on Cara Delevingne, right?
6. And It All. Goes. Wrong.
Literally nothing fits. You look like a grandma and a three year old at the same time— and that's with the jeans you can even get on.
7. The Sizes Make No Sense
One pair in your normal size won't make it past your knees. Another you could use as a sleeping bag. Rhyme and reason is gone. The world is an endless nightmare.
8. You Think About Calling Your Mom
To cry, to beg for help, to say goodbye.
9. You Flee That Changing Room
Leaving a pile of jeans behind you. You do the walk of shame out the door with nothing.
10. And Head Into Literally Any Other Shop
And repeat steps 5-9. You may do this in up to 14 different shops.
11. You Almost Completely Give Up Hope
12. And Then You See Them
Plain jeans. Normal jeans. Lovely jeans that look like they're worn by humans.
13. They Even Fit!
Like a damn glove. So you try to grab as many pairs as you can find — but there's always only one.
14. You Cherish Them Forever
Until you wear them out completely, of course. And then it all starts up again.
Finding a pair of jeans can be completely soul-destroying. But when you find them, you know.
Have any jean shopping tips? SHARE your ideas!