The 14 Definitive Stages Of Shopping At Target
You try passing the dollar bins without buying a million notebooks.
Target is the only place that you can stop by for one thing real quick and leave two hours later with no bank account and no hope. But some really cute tops.
1. You Swing By The Starbucks Inside To Prepare
Target and lattes just go together like... well, like Target and lattes. Your eyes might start wandering around the store, but you know what you need.
2. Deciding The Three— AND ONLY THREE— Things You Actually Need
Post Its, some new hand lotion, and fabric softener. That's it. That's all you need.
3. And Marching Toward Them With Conviction
You're not going to be distracted. You know what you want. You are a retail warrior.
4. But Then A *Really* Cute Top Catch's Your Eye
And at such a reasonable price! You'll just take a look.
5. You Add It To Your Basket, But You Stay Strong
Sure, one more item than you meant. But that's not bad, right? I mean, you need it for work.
6. But It All Goes Wrong In The Make Up Aisle
You just went for moisturizer, but look at this illuminator. And it's so cheap. And these face wipes— you're probably going to start working out soon. Probably. You need these.
7. So You Might As Well Swing By Home Furnishings
You've needed a new throw pillow for so long. And they have the best patterns.
8. Oh Crap, There's A Designer Collaboration
Who is it this time? Victoria Beckham? Alexander McQueen? Zac Posen? You have to check it out.
9. It's All Amazing! And You Find Four Things You LOVE
But none of them are in your size, of course. There's nothing in your size. Who cares? You'l take it anyway.
10. You See Some DVD Bargains
I mean, you've only watched Netflix for the past two years. But sure, let's stock up!
11. You Try To Resist The Dollar Bins
It's all pointless stuff you'll never use anyway.
12. ... And Fail
It's all amazing! And perfect! And a dollar— a dollar. So you grab 87 blank notebooks.
13. Wince Your Way Through Checkout
You budgeted 10 dollars. Your totally is $122.81. No judgement.
14. And Vow To Never Do It Again
(HINT: YOU WILL)
Don't feel bad, everybody gives into Target. Sooner or later.
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