7 Ways An Introvert Can Be More Assertive In Her Relationships

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Here's how to assert yourself.

Being an introvert is often really misunderstood. It can make friendships and relationships more complicated— especially if they don't understand the alone time you need to recharge. And it's easy to get bulldozed by more outgoing partners.

Here's how to make sure you're sticking up for yourself in a relationship.

1. Explain Your Needs

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So many problems stem from a lack of communication. You can take back some power in a relationship by explaining what you need.

2. Take Your Alone Time

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Don't apologize, you need it. And you have every right to schedule it in.

3. Come Up With Communication Methods That Work For You

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Find confrontation difficult? That's totally OK. Write your thoughts down, take some time to think things through, send an email — your partner needs to respect that you might not perform best in spontaneous conversations.

4. Make Sure You're Choosing The Activities Sometimes

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When you're an introvert in your relationship, you may not always be good at asserting what you want to do and just follow your partner's ideas instead. Take charge and organize date nights and activities to feel like you have some control too.

5. Recognize The Effect On Your Partner

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Everybody has quirks and difficulties that can be hard on their partner. If you recognize how some of your limits might affect them, they'll be more amenable to compromise.

6. Make Sure You're Seeing Enough Of Your Friends

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If you need a lot of alone time and you're spending time with your partner, there's a good chance your social life will suffer. But being a full, independent woman in a relationship means having your own life — so make sure you're fitting in time with your friends.

7. ... And Not Missing Out On Your Hobbies

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The same goes for the things you love to do. Making time to do the things that make you you is a great way to assert yourself and your needs into a relationship. Your partner should understand.

8. Check In Frequently

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If you have trouble taking a stand or expressing when you're feeling upset, make a regular check in time. Decide that once a week your partner and you will check in on how you're feeling — it'll allow you to have a designated platform for communication.

9. Practice Self-Care

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So. Important. When you're taking your time out to recharge, make sure you really take care of yourself. Whatever rituals, mantras, or relaxation techniques work for you — allow yourself

10. Learn Your Love Language

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Learning your love language is a great way to help introverts assert themselves in a relationship. If you and your partner learn more about how you give and receive love, you'll both be better off.

11. Come Up With A Signal For Quiet Time

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Sometimes it's not about alone time. Sometimes introverts just need quiet time, but there's no reason you can't be quiet together. Coming up with a signal or code word for when you just need some quiet time can make life a lot easier — especially on trips together.

12. And For When You Need Help At Parties

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If you're an introvert, not matter how social you want to be you can reach a point where it's just too much. Having code with your partner for when you need to get out of a social setting will keep you from being dragged along at their pace and make sure your needs are being met.

13. Ask For Advice If You Need It

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If you feel like you're getting stressed or drained by your relationship, there's no shame in asking for help. If you have an introvert friend in a relationship, ask them for advice. You can find resources online or even see a counselor — you should never feel embarrassed about getting what you need.


There's no reason being an introvert should get in the way of having a healthy relationship, but you may have to be a bit more assertive than feels natural. Keep insisting on your needs and communicate clearly — you'll get there.

Have advice for introverts in a relationship? SHARE your thoughts!