14 Things You'll Only Understand If You Love Wine But Know Nothing About It

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It's always wine o'clock, even if you don't know your chardonnay from your sauv blanc.

Just because you love wine, doesn't mean you have to understand it.

And there's nothing worse than a dinner where someone orders the most expensive bottle of wine that you can't even begin to pronounce— and then you have to pay for half. Because some of us just want the wine.

Here are 14 things you'll only understand if you love wine but know nothing about it.

1. Wine Is A Key Part Of Your Weekend Routine

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And probably your weekday routine. But definitely the weekend.

2. You'll Design Your Whole Night Around It

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Going out for dinner? Having the girls over? Let's be real, it's all about the vino.

3. You Have Your Favorite Cheap Go-To Brand At The Supermarket

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You stay constantly stocked, but for a bargain. Because, let's be real, they all taste exactly the same.

4. But Ordering Out Can Be A Challange

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You don't really care. You can't pronounce the names. You just want the wine now, please.

5. And Bringing Wine To Dinner Parties Is A Minefield

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You don't want to look cheap, but you don't want to spend too much. And if you bring something horrible, you'll never be able to tell— because you can't taste the difference anyway. It's a recipe for disaster.

6. You Can Order A House Wine With No Shame

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You gave up on trying to look classy a long time ago.

7. And Used The 'Second Least Expensive' Trick Too Many Times

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When you're out with people, you may want to save face. But, you know, not that much.

8. Red, White, Rose Mean Nothing To You

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It's all wine. It's all delicious.

9. You Resent Splitting An Expensive Bottle

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You never understand why you just spent ten bucks a glass when it tastes just like two buck chuck.

10. But You're Happy To Drink Up Anything Someone Gives You

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You never turn your nose up at a bottle of wine someone brings over. They all work for you.

11. You're Pretty Sure Wine Snobs Are Just Making That Sh*t Up

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A heady nose? A bloom of peppercorns? Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

12. A Wine Tasting Would Be Your Worst Nightmare

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All that delicious wine and... and you have to spit it out? Why would anyone do that?

13. Quality Is Better Than Quantity

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A ten dollar glass of wine— or two five dollar bottles of wine. The choice is obvious.

14. You Love Wine More Than You Love Most People

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No matter what, nothing is better at the end of a long day. You may not appreciate the complex nuances, but dammit, you appreciate the wine. More than any other drink — or person — you know.


You don't have to be fancy or be able to name the grape type to know that you love a good class of house white. Follow your heart— and save some money while you're at it.

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