There’s a certain point on a Friday night where things go from wild and crazy to just a bit… strange. Very few of us are at our best at 1 am on Friday. We made it through work drinks, we had fun with our friends, we’ve had a few too many— and that’s all been great. But then you get to a point where you mind starts to drift to the priorities: getting food, having sex, or hitting your pillow like you could sleep for a thousand years.
There’s that point where the night really needs to draw to a close, but for some reason you’re still out and about— plotting what your next move should be. And these thoughts are never very sensible— and always really hilarious.
Most women will have a certain go-to drunk subject. Maybe they talk about their ex, maybe they always insist on another round of shots and not letting the night end, maybe all they want to do is get pizza topped with spring rolls (I’ll give you one guess which of these women I am). We’ve all got our own special niche. But there are some things that are universal about a night out when it’s almost time to go to bed.
So here are the ridiculous thoughts that every woman has had at one am on a Friday night because it may not be at our best, but it just may be us at our most hilarious.
1. I LOOK AMAZING
You normally think that when taking a group photo and makeup is already smeared down your face. Tomorrow you will know the truth.
2. These Are The Best Friends Anyone Could Ever Have
I AM SO LUCKY! ALL OF THE EMOTIONS!
3. This Is MY Song
This is normally the point that you think you are amazing dancer. You are not, I repeat, you are not an amazing dancer.
4. I Am So Hungry I Might Die
The first waves of hunger begin.
5. I Wonder If My Ex Still Loves Me
You start thinking about your ex, though you know you shouldn't let anyone know you're thinking about them.
6. I Still Love Them
The waves of emotion begin...
7. I Should CALL Them
This is the worst idea you will ever have. But you will probably do it. You will probably do it 8 times in a row.
8. I Want Seven Pizzas
Time to emotionally eat all that stress away. Don't think about how weird those eight missed calls are going to look.
9. I Should Probably Share All Of My Darkest, Deepest Desire. RIGHT NOW.
The oversharing beings. You confess to everything you've ever done since the age of eight. And something things you haven't done.
10. I Could Sleep For A Thousand Years. I Am Sleeping Beauty.
The first signs of tired begin to hit— but you're not ready to let the night go yet.
11. My Feet Hurt. Nobody Will Notice If I Take My Shoes Off.
They will notice. And you will notice when you see how sticky and sharp the floors are.
12. This Girl In The Bathroom Is The Best Girl I've Ever Met
Bathroom BFFS FOREVER!
It's home time. Time to go home.
So it’s not classy, it’s totally ridiculous— but it is honest. Whether you’re the girl who gets drunk and cries, who only wants to eat, who becomes obsessed with that random dude at a bar, who just wants to talk about what great friends you all are— or maybe you’re a combination of all of them.
The truth is, we all deserve to let loose once in awhile. As long as you’re being safe and having a great time, what’s wrong with things getting a little wild? It’s Friday night after all, that’s basically what is what made for.
Have a friend who always goes big on a Friday night? Or a woman who is your weekend partner in crime? SHARE it with them!