13 Hilarious Things Men Will Never Understand About Your Beauty Routine

["princess and the frog", "southern belle"]
Thought Catalog

When you accidentally spend all your rent money at Sephora...

For folks who love makeup, it's its own little world with a separate language, routines, and, of course, so many products.

Your makeup routine is as unique as you are— and just because you don't understand a product, doesn't mean you won't use it.

Here's what the others will never understand.

1. Being Broke Won't Keep You From A New Product

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I can't afford food, but I mean have you seen this new liquid eyeliner? I'll probably finally be able to use it. Maybe.

2. But Practice Doesn't Make Perfect

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Guys might think that you're some kind of obsessed expert, but the truth is a cat eye still makes you want to weep.

3. And The Despair You Can Feel Is A Little Over The Top

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There's no point crying over spilled milk. But you will absolutely lose it over bleeding lipstick on your fifth try.

4. You Need A 96 Color Palate But You Only Use 3

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Sure, you've never touched most of them. But you might use them some day. Better safe than sorry, right?

5. You Will Keep Using A Useless Product Because It Was Expensive

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It hasn't done anything more than water would, but it cost 96 dollars and had five star reviews. Stubbornness will keep you going. You will see results.

6. Your Could Literally Do Your Routine In The Dark

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Whether it's a lot or a little, it's all muscle memory at this point.

7. But There Are Different Levels

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Getting ready for a date, heading to work, and "HOLY SH*T I'M LATE FOR WORK" all require different versions of the same routine. But you know just what you reach for.

8. You Know *Exactly* What Products Come With You On A Night Out

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Some live in your bag, some live at home. It depends on what touch ups you need.

9. And You Have Doubles Of Your Favorites

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Because you pretend to be a baller. But they're all open... and all drying out.

10. It's Not Unusual To Get Through Your Whole Routine And Then Start Over

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Yes, it took 90 minutes. But something doesn't look quite right. Let's try again.

11. And If You Can't Remember If You Missed A Step, There's Panic

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You just put on primer, but did you put on serum? Did you forget the serum?! You have to go back.

12. Your Friends Will Get The Final Call

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You may need to check with them throughout, but you'll definitely have a roommate look at the final product. Or you'll text a photo real quick for an opinion.

13. That Ultimately, It's All For You

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Whoever thinks you're doing it for someone else's benefit couldn't be more wrong. You're the only person worth that much time and energy. It's all for you, girl.


Whether you're a full shimmer and lashes girl or you just stick with chapstick and mascara, every makeup routine is different. And they all work.

Have any funny makeup tales? SHARE your stories!