When Their Friends Are Straining Your Relationship
Is there trouble in paradise because your other half has terrible friends? Find out how to deal when their friends are making things tough.
If you’ve ever seen I Love You, Man or Sex And The City, you know that it’s just as important for your other half to have their own set of friends. Plus, if their friends are anything like them, you probably also enjoy hanging out with them as well! There are times though where the friends your boyfriend or girlfriend has can strain your relationship.
They’re Holding On To Old Relationships
Some people meant it when they said, “we should still be friends” to their ex. After all, about half of people asked if they were still friends with their ex answered that they were, according to an NBC poll. Relationship expert and author Nina Atwood notes that people often rely on their ex for emotional support as a reason to not cut off the relationship. Every relationship has its disagreements, but you don’t want your S.O. to see their ex as a person they can go to for emotional support validating their point of view in a fight. While you can’t control who they are friends with, explain to them that their relationship with their ex can be hurtful if they are using that ex as a form of emotional support instead of working on the bond between the two of you.
They Have Toxic Friends
Just like romantic relationships, some friendships can be truly toxic. While everyone goes through tough times, there are some habits that friends do that are more stressful than beneficial. Again, it’s difficult to tell your significant other who to be friends with, but you can point out what they may not see. For example, if their best friend pulls them into dangerous situations, is constantly in need of someone to rely on, or is insulting, you can point out that the friendship is toxic. Toxic friendships affect your relationship because it takes energy away from your other half, which in turn takes a toll on your relationship. If they agree their friend is toxic, you can help them either set boundaries or maturely end the friendship.
Your Partner Is Actually The Problem
It’s easy to want to blame others if there is a strain on your relationship, but sometimes it really just is a problem your significant other is causing. Relationship life coach Sarah Adelle writes at Relationship Reality that, “It is up to your [partner] to make [their] friends and family respect your relationship and create and enforce healthy boundaries with them.” For example, your partner will use you as the excuse as to why they can’t go out to the strip club. The reality is that THEY respect you too much to do that but are nervous to admit their values are different than their friends. Don’t let your partner turn you into a scapegoat and have a conversation about how you expect one another to make sure your social network respects your relationship.